


The Sailor and the Savior – Paths and Choices

by Yasmin_CBBS



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Captain Swan - Freeform, F/M, Lieutenant Killian Jones/Princess Emma Swan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-13
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2019-02-01 19:30:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 31,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12711456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yasmin_CBBS/pseuds/Yasmin_CBBS
Summary: In a world where the curse never happened, Princess Emma grew up with Killian as her best friend. Nonetheless, Emma will have to face her responsibilities as the savior when a new threat is placed by the Evil Queen in the Enchanted Forest. Choices between love and reason will have to be made while the Savior try to make her own path between the discovery of her true love for Killian and being responsible for her people.





	1. Chapter 1

She ran through the field who separated the Castle from the little house were her best friend lived. Killian always knew how to make things better and, in that particular moment, she really needed him. 

Throughout the years she tried her best to be prepared for the responsibilities of being the crown princess and, eventually, the savior (she studied hard, learnt politics, trained magic and devoted her days to her people) and she was able to feel pretty confident in herself… most of the time. But today… today was not one of those times.

She opened the door, ran to his arms and, as always, was embraced in the warmest of hugs. She looked into those incredibly blue eyes and half of her problems vanished instantly.

“This was unexpected.” he said sarcastically.

“Please, you think to highly of yourself”

“Yet, here you are…” he said without malice.

Killian was a short and thin 15 years old (same age as Emma), he had the most amazing smile of all and the kindest and loveliest blue eyes of all the realms.   
The boy had been her best friend since they were 5 and Emma had found him, lonely and scared, hiding in the docks. The little princess was observing the passing ships when a noise startled her. She saw him before he even noticed that was another person there, but as soon as his yes found hers, he run away. Killian was very fast, but Emma was very determined so she didn’t give up (at least not right away). Suddenly the young girl looked around and didn’t recognized were she was, at all. In that instant, the mysterious boy (and everything else, honestly) lost its importance, nothing mattered besides her being lost. She stopped running and started crying. Not even a minute after that, she was involved by little arms and she felt Killian’s warm embrace for the first time in her life.

“Don’t cry, we will fix this”, He said

“How do you know that?” She asked stubbornly.

“Because I know the way back to the docks”, was his proud answer.

Taken aback she stared to ask “how do you…”

“Because I recognized the look in your eyes, you look like you are lost” the boy said timidly, scratching his foot on the ground.

Sobbing, she asked, “Why did you run away from me?”

“If I help you go back to your parents, you have to promise not to tell on me.” Killian said gravely.

“Tell on you? What are you talking about?” asked a very confused Emma.

“I have no home, and I was very hungry, that’s not how I usually behave… I know it’s bad form and all… but those people don’t bloody have a heart…”

“I really don’t understand…” She started, but interrupted.

“I don’t have a home and I’ve been sleeping in these docks for the last week, at first an old lady took pity on me and gave me some food, but I hadn’t eaten in almost two days so I took this.” he said, showing her an apple, “I’m not proud of myself… I promise I’ll give it back… just don’t…”

“Don’t you have any family?” Emma said, cutting his pleading.

“Of course I have! I have the best brother in the world!” Killian said brightly, but then he added in a somber note “But I don’t have parents anymore.”

Emma felt it was better not to press him for information on the ‘parents’ thing, so she asked instead “Where is your brother?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it!” he seemed upset with her question. After a moment he turned around and started to walk the in the direction they had come from. “Aren’t you coming?” he asked curtly.

“Please forgive me, I meant no harm… Can we please be friends again?”

“Were we friends before?” He asked surprised.

“I don’t know… but I wanted to be” was her hopeful answer.

With a shy but very cute smile, he said “I’m Killian Jones by the way.”

“I’m Emma” She said following him.

In their track back Killian opened up to her. She learned that his mother had died and he barely remembered her, and that his father sold he and his brother to servitude to a pirate captain shortly after that. He and his brother had eventually run away from the pirates and were homeless since then. His brother (who was called Liam) was 10 years older than Killian and, when he completed 14 years old, he joined the navy so he could better support the both of them. Killian used to be all by himself when Liam was at sea. It wasn’t a good situation, but it could be much worse (according to Killian).

When Emma found her mom, she refused to left Killian behind. The Royal Family took him back to the castle. For the rest of the month the two of them shared a room, and their friendship became a strong one.

Now, almost 10 years later, Killian and Liam lived in this little cottage in the castle grounds, and Emma spent so much time there that sometimes it felt more like her home than her own chambers.

Taking a deep breath, she stated, “I can’t take it anymore, Killian! What do they expect of me? I’m no savior! I am nothing!!! And they say I have to be responsible for everyone’s happiness, that’s beyond bullshit!!! I don’t wanna any of that!!!” she said choking and holding back tears.   
Emma has always been the subject of great responsibility and pressure being the crown princess of a great Kingdom, but the sensation of being crushed under other’s expectations was relatively new to her. Yes, she was the princess and was accustomed to having duties, but what they expect from her now was completely unreasonable.

“Oh, such a lovely language for a lovely and proper Princess!” He said humorously. “And what you are saying, that you are no savior, that is absolutely not true! You have saved me and Liam!”

“Killian, you know that this has nothing to do with anything!”

“Yes, it has! It’s your nature to want to help people, it’s in your nature to be kind and compassionate! It’s in your nature to be an unstoppable fighter when you believe in a cause! You are bloody amazing, Emma, and that makes you the savior.” he says passionately. She couldn’t put in words how grateful she was to have someone who believed so truly in her. 

Throwing herself in his arms again, she whispered in his neck “I can’t control my magic, Killian. No matter how much I want to save everyone, I simply can’t do it.”

“You will be able to control it, Emma. When the time comes, you will be ready”

“How can you be so sure?”

“I am sure because I’ve never seen you fail, Emma.” Killian said kindly.

“Thank you”, Emma said wholeheartedly.

Seeing his princess better made Killian impossibly happy. He was so in love with her… But, of course, he would never let her know that. He was no prince, he wasn’t special, he wasn’t even handsome for God’s sake (or so he thought). He decided to never tell her because he knew for sure he didn’t deserve her. But he was weak, so he smelled her hair and felt how smooth it was against his cheek.

“You are coming at the ball tomorrow?”

“For you, princess, I’d do anything.” 

________________________________________

Everyone knew that before the princess’ birth the Dark One had made a prophecy that said that Emma would be the savior. When the curse that the Queen had threaten the realm with never came, everyone thought that the burden of being responsible for all the happy endings was off of Emma’s shoulders.  
Emma had lived a happy and normal life, for a princess, until last year when the rumors started. Initially nobody believed that the Evil Queen was back, because Regina was deranged but she had a sense of self-preservation. The tension was growing inside the castle’s walls, the servants were whispering in the corners, but Emma’s parents and the counselors were calm so she hadn’t been worried.

Everything changed the day that the Dark One himself appeared in the great hall to talk to her mother about Regina’s new threat. As soon as the Dark One appeared, her father hurried to take her out of the room, but was interrupted by Rumpelstiltskin.

“Where do you think you are taking the savior, dearie?”

“My daughter is a child and she will not be involved with someone like you!” Her father shouted back.

“I’m sorry to disagree, but the Princess pretty much has to be involved! Your lovely child is our only hope against Regina! I don’t have time for this foolishness! We have two opitions in this matter ‘Charming’: the savior fights the coming battle and we all will have a chance to win, or we will all perish in the most horrible way. Which one is going to be ‘prince’?” The Dark One sing-songed maliciously.

Listening to Rumpelstiltskin, Emma, stupidly, felt exhilarated. She was a little scared, but the peril seemed so far away and she was focused in the fact that she would be treated like a grown up for the first time in her life. 

Seeing that her parents had consented the Dark One proceeded.  
“Regina is plotting her revenge, but she won’t use the Dark Curse she intended to use last time.”

“How do you now that?” Emma interrupted.

Looking in her eyes he answered “Because the Queen’s father is dead and now she doesn’t have anyone to love anymore”. Emma couldn’t fully comprehend the meaning of his words, but she felt a cold shiver down her spine nonetheless.

“As I was saying, now Regina has a new plan. She is gathering the ingredients and the power to destroy all of us. I would happily kill her and take the problem away, but, unfortunately for us all, I made a deal with the Queen a long time ago so I can’t do that myself. The savior has to learn to control her magic so she can stop the Queen…”

“Magic? What Magic?” Snow asked flabbergasted.

“Ask the fairies, those useless disgusting creatures. I don’t have time for this!” he said, right before he disappeared in the thin air. 

Ever since then Emma has been training everyday with the Blue Fairy to learn how to use her magic so she can protect all of her people from an unknown threat that will come God knows when.

Her only consolation was Killian. Since the Dark One’s revelation, her friend has been by her side every step of the way, and with his support everything seemed possible. His faith in her made her believe that they could succeed.

Tonight, was the ball for her parents’ anniversary and she promised to herself that she would forget, at least for the day, that she couldn’t do anything with her magic no matter how much Blue talked about her “potential”.

Emma liked Balls because she always had fun talking to the other princesses, princes and other young nobles that attended. Emma was coming back from a dance with Killian when she noticed that the girls were gossiping and she left him to talk to them.

“What do you girls are talking about?”

“So, this is Princess Emma?” Asked a good-looking boy, who seemed to be about 18 years old.

“Yes, I am. And you are?”

“I am Neal, Neal Cassady. I am Rumpelstiltskin’s son. I wanted to know you because my father talks so much about you, about your magic.” He said.

“Well, hi” she said felling very stupid. It was not every day an older boy paid her attention.

“I’ll go check the rest of the party.” he said leaving

“Oh my Gosh… He is cute” Emma said.

“He totally is” said one of Emma’s friends, Alexandra.

“He is kind of cute, but you were just dancing with the cutest of them all, Emma…” Sighed her other friend, Melody.

“Killian is nice, but he is so thin and short… Melody, your crush is blinding you” Said Alexandra.

Emma didn’t want to join their discussion, she could see what Melody saw in Killian. Those blue eyes in contrast with his black hair was something, but he was just a boy, he wasn’t attractive. However, for some disturbing reason, the fact that Melody had a crush on him didn’t make her happy. Every time Melody’s feelings were mentioned, Emma felt something very unpleasant in her belly that made liking Melody a very hard task.

A sudden need of reassurance made her search him in the crowd. One look at him talking to her dad and she could see something wasn’t right. Killian seemed conflicted, he had a smile in his face, but his eyes dropped when he caught her gaze.  
He made his way to her and asked if she could join him outside.

In the balcony looking anywhere but her he said “Emma, your father asked me to join the Royal Navy…”

Emma felt dizzy, “You can’t be serious… You are a child, Killian!” the last part was said almost screaming.

“I am not a child, I am one year older than Liam when he joined.” He sounded a little bit hurt.

“You don’t need to be a sailor, you could train to be a royal guard…”

“Emma, you know sailing is my dream, and I want to help in the war against the Evil Queen…”

“You could help by being by my side! You know that I need you here, why are you being so selfish?”

“Emma… I don’t wanna leave you, but this is something I have to do. I have to be able to make something of myself. And your father is giving me the opportunity to serve in my brother’s ship…”

Emma chuckled sarcastically, sounding harsh even to her own ears, “How pathetic! You really think that the better way to make something of yourself is to hide behind your Big Brother?”

The hurt look in his eyes made her own heart squeeze painfully, but before she had time to take back what she has said, he was talking again, “I know you are sad and I’m trying not to be mad at you… but you have no idea what the opportunity of being with my brother means to me. You have your parents, Emma, you have Ruby, Granny, the dwarfs… I, I only have Liam.”

“You have all of us, Killian” she whispered.

“I’m an orphan, Emma, he is all the family I have left. He was the only family who never abandoned me.”

“I know. But I can’t lose you…” She sighed “God, I’m so selfish… You are right, I have everything. It was stupid to react like I did. I’m so sorry, Killian” the rage has abandoned her leaving her absolutely miserable.

“No, you’re not stupid. I understand you… you had every reason to be upset” Killian seemed devastated as well.

“No, I didn’t. You are right, I have a Family… You should be mad at me because I have no right to complain… I’m just a spoiled little princess”

He interrupted her with a sad knowing grin “You and I, Emma, we are a lot alike. You can be a princess, but you have your fair share of burdens. You know loneliness as I do.” she opened her mouth to protest but he cut her of “just hear me out”, he waited until she had closed her mouth to proceed, “You and I know loneliness like few people do. I am lonely because I have no one, and yes, I have you, but you are a princess, you have a lot of responsibilities and I feel alone and useless most of the time. But you are lonely as well because you are responsible for everyone. This kind of burden makes very difficult for you to connect, to be open and honest with the people around you. You are lonely while you are surrounded by loving people who can’t possibly understand you, and that can be as heavy as having no one…”

“I have you, Killian. And besides Liam, you have me”

“I know, Emma, I’m sorry. I won’t go, I’m not going to leave you…”

She wanted him to stay more than anything, but she couldn’t and wouldn’t be so self-centered. Killian deserved better from her.

“Killian Jones you listen to me! You are joining the navy. You have to! I am so sorry for have turned what should have been a celebration into a fight!”

“Emma, I…”

“No, you were one hundred percent right. You will go. You have to!” she said almost lightly.

“Are you sure? I want the best for you! I can stay for you… for us.”

“You are going, Killian. You will become the hero you always wanted to be” she looked firmly into his eyes and tried for a small smile. 

Killian pulled her into a tight embrace and whispered in her ear “You are the best friend in the world, Emma. I love you so much… I’m going to miss you so much”.

“I love you, Kil. Promise you’re gonna write to me. I would be lost without you…” the tightness of her throat was making impossible to her to continue speaking.

“let’s dance one more time, let’s not think about being apart just now…” he kissed her hair. “I will write to you every day” he added.

That was the most bittersweet moment of her short existence. Oddly enough, it was one of the most beautiful moments as well.   
Holding each other tight, they danced in utter silence.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I would update it Monday, but I had some free time today and this is a short chapter, so I posted it earlier.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Separations are weird things: they are sad and nostalgic, they take part of you and leave a part of you empty. However, when someone depart from you (someone you really love) your soul gets parted, and (contradictory as it may seem to be) the wounds and missing bits of one soul can make it even bigger and stronger.

Emma had never faced loss in her life before. In the time period that she had to live missing Killian Jones, she felt like she had aged years. In some level, that brought her even closer to him. After his departure she came to comprehend how her best friend had gotten so wise and insightful. She understood because now she could grasp how much he had to grow and strengthen himself in order to surpass all the pain and loss he had to endure in his life. Her new-found appreciation for him only made she miss him more.

The first couple of weeks of his absence, were spent in mourning. She hadn’t left her room unless it was inevitable. She buried herself in self-pity and, from time to time, in guilt (because she knew she was the savior and had responsibilities she wasn’t attending).

With time, things started to became less painful. Writing to Killian became easier as well as reading his letters. With time the ache in her chest stopped being a weakness and became a source of strength.

During her life, Killian had been her ever present interlocutor. Every time Emma had doubts, every time she couldn’t accept the ways of the world and each time she couldn’t comprehend her own feelings and insecurities she used to talk to him. He always would provide insights and questionings that would help Emma to come to terms with who she was and what were her values. Without him, she felt lost and insecure.

When she wrote him explaining how she felt, she was expecting to receive in reply some sort of understanding and consolation. he surprised her once again with his response.

> _“If you feel this way, Emma, I’m glad that I left. Don’t get me wrong, you are the most amazing person I’ve ever knew, and I am beyond honored to know that I played a big part helping you to understand yourself until now. However, you can’t depend on me (or anyone else) to do that, to became your own person. Dialogs are extremely important for us to comprehend ourselves, but yours has to be the loudest voice in your own head._
> 
> _Remember when we were kids and I used to ask you what we were going to do all the time? One day you got really angry with me and said: “Killian, if you always want me to say what you should do, then it is as if I’m playing alone!”_
> 
> _Never before anyone had validated my right to my own wishes and desires. It was scary to have the responsibility to know what I wanted and to accept my own needs with all my abandonment issues. But it was a good kind of scary, it made possible for me to accomplish so much. Made me able to become the person who I am now. It took you establish a clear line between us to make me realize that I needed to be my own person._
> 
> _I will be forever grateful for you being by my side while you let me discover who I was by myself. Now I wanna do the same for you. I think it’s time for you to follow your own advice, my dear Princess.”_

Reading that letter had made Emma really mad. How has he dared to accuse her of not being her own person? She has always been strongminded, opinioned, fierce. He had said countless times how much he admired her for that! She wrote him a very angry response to his letter!

She fumed for days from rage because he was not there so she could have the fight that she wanted properly. It took her a week to calm down. It took her two weeks to comprehend what he had wrote. It took her two weeks and a half to agree with him. When a letter from him arrived almost three weeks after she had sent her response to his letter, the only mention he made about the issue was:

 

> _“Dear Emma, by the time this letter gets to you, I am sure you will already have comprehended what I meant and that I only said what I said because a love and admire you so much. I’ll always will be here for you, and I don’t need nor want any apology for what you wrote me.”_

She read his letter, sneered to herself, and threw away the letter she was writing him with her apologies.

It was, as he had said, hard and scary at first, but it was also empowering not having the need for his validation. With time, the improvement in her self-understanding made their discussions and arguments even more stimulating than they were before. She barely could wait for the conversations they would have when she finally saw him in person again. 

His absence had an impact in her magic training as well. Initially the emptiness she felt made impossible to her accomplish anything in her training with blue, but, after a while, she improved immensely in controlling her magic. Knowing that kind of pain herself made her more sympathetic to the suffering of the people around her, and that made her try even harder to improve herself so she could help them. Now she knew in her flesh the reason why she had to win that fight.

Beyond that, she found that focusing on her emotions was the key to her powers. That knowledge came in the most unpleasant way and costed all the window’s glasses from the castle when an outburst of sadness and loneliness overcame her during one of her training sections. With that notion, it became much easier to channel her emotions to control her magic.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The first year of their separation was expected and she endured it with all the grace she could. The letters made it all easier because she felt like he was still in her life and, for the time being, that had to be enough.

Killian had grown to, she could tell. He learnt his way aboard a navy ship, he learnt the ranks and how to behave. He was learning other languages and learning about other civilizations and cultures.

In his letters he described a world Emma never had the chance to see for herself because, for all she had travelled, she couldn’t see the villages, the wild nature or the costumes and traditions of the common people.

She kept and cherished each and every one of his letters.

The day of her sixteenth birthday was the hardest of them all. She would never de capable to remember the letter she received that day without crying.

> _“My dearest Emma,_
> 
> _Pardon me for this curt message, I really don’t know how to put anything into words right now._
> 
> _I just needed you to know that I am well._
> 
> _Liam is gone, Emma. I know it’s going to hurt so much, but now I’m simply numb._
> 
> _He is gone. He is gone._
> 
> _Even writing it doesn’t make it feel real. I was in so much pain I almost passed out when I saw him motionless, lifeless, but right now I don’t feel anything, not even the pain of my own wounds._
> 
> _It was our first battle together. Our last battle._
> 
> _I think I killed a man today, but I can’t think about it, my mind refuses to show me my own memories. I try but I only know that there was so much blood._
> 
> _What will I do without my brother, Emma?_
> 
> _He is gone. Liam is gone. Don’t worry about me, I am OK.”_

He was anything but OK, she was absolutely certain of that.

That night she’d had to put on a tight dress, wear a forced smile in her face, and make an appearance to a ball in her honor. As soon as she could she returned to her chamber and cried herself to sleep. She would give up anything for the chance to be by his side in that moment.

She didn’t know how to comfort him, for the first time in their friendship she didn’t know what to do. After hours spent in front of a blank parchment she gave up, felling like the worst friend ever. She imagined Killian all alone without a proper service for his big brother, and she craved with all her being that she could give him an opportunity to say goodbye to Liam in a beautiful ceremony with a clear sky and lots of Buttercups (their favorite flower). She wanted to give him the opportunity to honor Liam’s memory like the both of them deserved, and it pained her immensely to know that that would not be possible aboard a Royal Navy Ship.

After a week another letter arrived.

 

> _“My wonderful Emma,_
> 
> _I don’t have words to thank you! Until this morning I was convinced that I would never be capable of smiling again. I felt like it had been me the one who died in that combat. When I came to the deck of the ship this morning and saw every bit of it covered by your Buttercups, something moved inside of me. I cried and laughed and felt so sad and happy at the same time. Every sailor in this ship must think that I finally lost my mind! You should have been here to see the faces of everyone aboard!_
> 
> _Liam would have liked your flower so much!_
> 
> _Thank you, my beautiful Emma, for this wonderful tribute to my brother! Thank you for showing me that I am not dead, that I can still have feelings and that perhaps there is still hope for me after all._
> 
> _You are the most brilliant and precious of them all._
> 
> _Love you with all my heart!_
> 
> _Always yours,_
> 
> _KJ”_

Relief filled her heart when she read the letter, she could see through those words little bits of her Killian again. He was going to be OK… eventually. She knew it wouldn’t be easy, but her friend was a survival, and she would make sure he would never be alone.

She was amazed with the power of their love, never could she have imagined that her magic could be so strong, but the bond of love they shared gave her strength.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The news that Killian wasn’t coming home after that year left her broken all over again. His ship had been caught in the war and they were strategically important in ports far away from the one of the Capital of the Realm.

They never stopped exchanging letters, and throughout the time they remained open and honest with each other. The love and affection they shared didn’t diminished at all with the distance.

Her parents proudly reported all of Killian’s Promotions and accomplishments. Apparently, he was indeed making himself a hero! He received prizes for honor, he more than once risked his life to save others (which made Emma really nervous) and he was loved and respected both by pears and superiors. Alas, the pride Emma felt for her friend did not lessen the disappointment she felt each time his return had been delayed.

Besides that, the life of the Princess was going well. By her seventeenth birthday, Neal Cassidy started to court her. She had been developing a crush on him and when her father asked if she wanted to be courted by him, she promptly agreed.

Since than she had been almost happy, and in the times Neal visited, she didn’t feel the pain of Killian’s absence so much. It was obvious that Neal didn’t understand her the way Killian did (she seriously doubted anyone ever would) but it was ok, she didn’t need it, she had Killian and she wouldn’t trade what she shared with him for nothing in this world (not even Neal).

For some reason that she could not explain for the life of her, her relationship with Neal was the one thing Emma never could make herself share with her best friend. It was not for lack of effort, she had really tried! She simply couldn’t make herself put the words in the paper. With each passing day she became more and more nervous about the fact. Her eighteenth birthday was approaching and she was almost certain that Neal would propose that day. How would she tell her best friend that she got engaged to a person that he didn’t even know existed?

Emma had learnt to live without Killian physically by her side. It has not been easy, but she did it. She endured three years of separation and during that time, she had grown, she became a strong and independent woman and a powerful sorceress. In her heart she knew she had accomplished what she and Killian had wanted for her: to be her own person. But she also knew that even throughout his physical absence he had been there all along the way.

She only wished he could be there, body and soul, for a change. She knew that she could live without his presence, but she absolutely didn’t want to do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be their reunion.


	3. Chapter 3

In the morning of her eighteenth birthday, Emma could sense that her father was hiding something from her, but she didn’t mind, he obviously was preparing a good surprise for her. Besides, she had received the most amazing news possible: Finally, the Jewel of the Realm (Killian’s ship) was coming home! In a few days she would see him again! It has been three years! She almost couldn’t believe that she had endured his absence for so long. She wondered if he has changed at all in all those years. Every time she thought about him, she couldn’t picture him any different from the boy she remembered all those years ago, which she knew was absurd – look how much she has changed!

She got dressed in a beautiful blue ball gown adorned with feathers on both shoulders. After her hair was made, she still had some time before the ball so she sorted through the letters Killian had send her. She wouldn’t lie, she was a little nervous about seen him again. What if their friendship wasn’t as natural now as it was before? They had spent so much time apart… It would be devastating to lose the bond they shared.

Reading his letters again put her in peace, she could feel his care and understand throughout his words. She realized then, with a shock, that she is way more excited about seen Kilian again than she is about the perspective of a proposal from Neal. The thought was intriguing, but she couldn’t examine it in that precise moment because she had a ball to attend to.

As she descended the stairs, she took in the great hall adorned in her honor. She located her parents easily, looking proudly at her figure. Neal was nowhere to be seen, but she could see her girlfriends already reunited and gossiping excitedly. After greeting Her mom and dad, Emma went straight in Alexandra’s direction. Gaining the group’s attention proved to be much harder than usual, though.

“Hey, girls, what is going on?” Emma asked annoyed.

“Oh, Emma, when did you get here?” Asked Melody.

“Seriously? I was announced! I called Alex’s name three times!”

“I am sorry”, said her friend, Scarlet, “but no one in their right mind could think of anything but that delicious peace of sin over there.”

“Not this again, guys, you know that talking about guys isn’t fun for me anymore now that I am being courted”

“Oh, Emma, believe me,” Alexandra said mischievously, “that god over there is plenty of fun, even if it’s just to watch”. 

Rolling her eyes, Emma decided to play along, “Ok, show me the…” but the sight of the man in question made the words fail her.

In front of her was the most stunning man she had ever seen. Dark hair, broad shoulders, strong but graceful nose, sharp jaw, thick and expressive eyebrows. He was lean but even through his garb you could see he was very muscular, he had muscles in the very precisely perfect amount. It was hard to believe that someone that gorgeous could simply exist.

“Well, you can’t say that we didn’t warn you,” said Melody, “And you don’t even know the ‘worst’ part yet. Wait until he looks at you so you can properly see his eyes”

As if summoned, the mysterious man gazed into her eyes. The most warm and deep blue filled her senses. She would recognize those eyes anywhere in the world.

“Killian!” she cried, running to him, her friends forgotten.

“Emma…” She heard his whisper clearly. 

She threw herself into his embrace and held him so tight that it was hard to breath. Oh, he was taller than her now. And his smell was amazing, she breathed in a musk, very masculine scent with a hint of the ocean breeze. In fact, he smelled so good, that she got a little dizzy. The feel of him so hard and strong was very different from the feel of him she remembered, but the warmth that filled her was very similar.

“Oh my God, Killian, it is you!”

While still in his arms, she looked into his eyes. Slowly she took him in, and God, he was even more striking from this close. Her gaze stopped in his mouth for a moment and she was invaded by an urge to kiss him that scared her, but she wasn’t prepared to give up the embrace just yet. So, she nested her face in the crook of his neck and kept him close.

Killian, her best friend Killian, is the most gorgeous man in all the realms. She barely could believe it.

“How are you here? I thought the ship wouldn’t arrive for another week!”

“I know, I’m so sorry! Your father wanted to surprise you with my arrival. He asked me to keep this from you as a birthday surprise. Are you happy?”

“Happy? Killian, I missed you like crazy these last years! I am more than happy, I’m ecstatic!”

Killian laughed then, a melodic and smooth laugh that made her knees weak. ‘Oh my god, even his laughter is sexy now.’

“Oh, Emma, I missed you so much! There’s so much I want to say to you! I can’t believe I’m actually here!”

They looked in each other’s eyes again. The whole world seemed to vanish except for the two of them. It is, until someone cleared her throat near them to attract their attention.

“Emma, is this really Killian?” Melody asked timidly.

Before anyone could answer, Ruby almost shouted “Oh my God, it is you, Killian! How the hell did you get so hot?”

In that moment, Killian proved that he hadn’t changed all that much, because he blushed and used his right hand to scratch shyly behind his ear, just like he would have done three years ago. The gesture was so familiar that Emma couldn’t help giving him a kiss on the cheek. The feel of his stubble rough against her lips made her insides turn, and these time, she was the one blushing. Fortunately, everyone was too preoccupied looking at Killian to notice.

Killian broke the silence then, “Ruby, I sure have grown, but I don’t think that ‘hot’ is an adequate word to describe me…”

“You are kidding, right?” Melody asked. She turned red when she realized what she has said. Emma remembered Melody’s big crush on Killian and her humor soured a little.

“I really am not comfortable with the direction this conversation is going…” Killian was clearly mortified.

“This is no surprise”, said another sailor, “this one never was comfortable with the women’s attention! What I wouldn’t give to have the ladies all over me the way they are with this one! But, of course, it is this ungrateful bastard that gets all the opportunities – and wastes all of them…”

“Watch your manners, Will! You are at the presence of noble ladies and the Princess herself!”

“Oh, so this is the sweet, beautiful, intelligent and witty princess Emma! This one talks nonstop about you!”

Just like that, she could feel the blush rising again “Well, he is my best friend…”, She started to answer.

Perceiving her discomfort, Ruby saved her from the embarrassment. “Ok, I think we should let Emma and Killian catch up. They must have a lot to talk about after three years apart. Let’s go, girls!” Ruby lead the group away winking in their direction.

Emma felt so elated to have Killian back that she felt like she could fly. They started to talk about his voyages and her training, about his wishes and her insecurities. They only had eyes for each other and over two hours had passed without them even noticing.  It felt so familiar spending time with him in person. It was very difficult to believe that they have spent so much time apart. More than once, Emma had lost herself in the depth of his eyes or in the beauty of his traces. ‘how can this incredibly handsome person be Killian?’ was a thought that occurred to Emma a couple of times. But, no matter how gorgeous he was now, this man was undeniably the same Killian that she always knew and loved.

From behind Emma came a voice that pulled her out of their bubble. “Here you are, Emma, I’m so sorry to be this late. There was a tree trunk in the middle of the pathway…” Neal started, but stopped midsentence.

“Neal, this is Killian Jones, my best friend. Killian this is Neal.”

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you. I heard a lot about you” The words didn’t sound even a little bit sincere in Neal’s mouth.

“Oh, hi…” said Killian, sounding confused, “You are friends with Emma?”

“Friends? Ems, didn’t you tell him? We are almost engaged!”

Her stomach fell and she could swear she saw disappointment in Killian’s face for a second. She felt mad and embarrassed and couldn’t understand why. All she wanted was that Neal would vanish so she could spend her time with Killian, but that feeling made her feel guilty.

“It was a pleasure to meet you, Neal. I should give you two some time alone.” Killian said, and then, taking Emma’s hand and lifting to his mouth and kissing it lightly, he continued “It was so good seeing you again, Emma… I hope we can talk some more before the end of the night”.

She couldn’t breathe and the skin of her hand that had been touched by his lips tickled in a very pleasant way for a long time after he was gone. She was so shaken by Killian that her mind didn’t worked normally from then on. Neal kissed her cheek, but she didn’t like the touch like she was used to. She had to nod along to things she wasn’t aware of, because she wasn’t able to pay attention in the things he was saying. She always had a nice time talking to Neal, but her time talking to Killian was spectacular. The more time passed, the more she became anxious to be back in Killian’s presence. A while had passed before she was saw him again. He was beside her father and she listened to their conversation for a moment before they notice their presence.

“You will be the one of the best Admirals this Realm ever had one day”, said her father

“David, you know I couldn’t presume to reach such a high Rank. My personal relationship with you and your family shouldn’t give me any advantages”

“Do you think that low of me, son?”  
  
“Absolutely not, your Majesty, but it is obvious that our proximity has being blinding you. You think way to high of me and I really don’t deserve this kind of praise…”

“You are a hero, Killian. All reports about you are incredibly flattering! You saved countless people and your military strategy has been essential to us in innumerous battles. Your efforts uncovering Regina’s plan were invaluable” After a pause, David added “You are like a son to me, and I wouldn’t be prouder if you were my own flesh and blood!”

“And me as well” Said Emma entering the conversation.

Killian was too moved to talk immediately. When he found his voice again he asked her “What do you think, Your Highness, care to show me how proud you are by allowing me to have the next dance?”

Neal spoken then, “Emma dancing? You two aren’t as good friends as I thought if you don’t know how a poor dancer she is…”  
  
“Oh, wait until you see Emma dancing with Kil! You will not believe your eyes. He always was the only person who could lead her… We used to think that that was because they learnt to dance together, but she can’t be leaded by their dance instructor either...” Said David “I actually am dyeing to see my little princess gracefully dancing again…”

“I can’t believe you still can’t be leaded, Emma. Well, actually I do. You are too stubborn to be leaded. I’m quite convinced that if women leaded you would be the best dancer of all.” Killian said teasingly.

“Shut up and dance with me before I regret it, Kil”.

She guided him to the dance floor. Putting her hands in his hand and shoulder was new and familiar all at the same time. When his hand found her waist, she felt a shock of pleasure descend through her spine and her heart started beating so furiously that she feared the whole ballroom could hear it. She was a little ashamed, but then Killian pulled her to the movements of the dance and nothing else mattered besides the two of them and the music. She didn’t remember that dancing could be so thrilling, or maybe it really has never been this exhilarating before. Maybe dancing with an adult Killian Jones was like talking to an adult Killian Jones: Familiar but more intense and meaningful at the same time.

The first third of the music they spend reacquainting each other with the way they moved and the solidness of their bodies in one another’s arms. From the second third of the song on, Killian became bolder with the dances moves. He turned graciously and even lifted her. It felt so natural to follow him that she didn’t need to think to know what to do. And then it hit her, she trusted him, and that was the reason she let him (and no one else) lead her. Trust is not an easy thing when you are the Savior. The dance continued and she lost herself in the feel of him. All she could see was the stunning blue that she has missed so much those last years. She floated in his strong arms and unique scent.  When the music was over, they didn’t step away. They danced to the next song and it was even better than the first. She was happy, she finally felt complete. Killian was home. She was home.

“So… you are engaged.”

At first, she didn’t know what to say. After an awkward pause, she timidly whispered “I wanted to tell you. I lost count of how many times I have sat there, staring at the paper, but couldn’t write a word…”

“It’s Ok, Emma,” Killian interrupted her, “I understand… It would have been better to have been prepared, I admit it… But I know why you did it”.

“Oh… tell me then, because I have no clue”.

He laughed at that, but when he spoke he was very serious “You did it to protect me. You didn’t want to hurt my feelings. I think you are the only one who knows how much I am still hurting because of Liam’s death.”

Emma was stunned. For the first time Killian had read her wrongly. She couldn’t even understand him. How the knowledge of her being in a relationship could possibly hurt him?

“You don’t have to worry about me, Emma. I am so grateful for your friendship… when Liam died, I was so lost, so angry, that for a moment I even considered abandoning everything, becoming a pirate…

“I am no hero, Emma. You don’t have any idea how easy it is to embrace the darkness. But then, there was you, and I realized that I was not alone in this world… ‘besides Liam you have me’ you said all those years ago.

“You, Emma, was the light that guided me through the Darkness. You are everything good that still remains in my world. You saved me yet again, Princess, and for that I am forever in your debt. You don’t have to apologize for anything.”

The self-deprecation in his words made her equal parts mad and sad.

“You listen to me, Killian Jones, all of us have our dark moments and our dark thoughts. You are no worse than any of us because you got enraged when your brother died. Being a hero isn’t not having dark thoughts, because that is impossible! Being a hero is resisting dark impulses, is choosing to do the right thing in spite of the impulse to do the opposite!” she emphatically said. “No one want a saint, Killian. We all want you to be you – Liam included”

That pulled a small smile from him “He was an insurable self-righteous git. I bet he was one of this ‘saints’ of yours…”

“No, he was not. But he almost always made the right choice, as do you.”

They danced in silence until the end of yet another song. Emma new they would have to stop dancing then. She could read Killian’s signs. Like her, he didn’t want their moment to end, but he felt it wasn’t appropriate to continue (and he was right, they were adults now).

They took a step back from each other right after the last chord was played. The only contact between them that remained was his hand in hers as he guided them back to her father’s side. Emma felt a deep feeling of loss the moment that even that last touch with Killian was broken, but under Neal’s hard stare she tried to hide her feelings.

“Wow, you two dancing was even better then I remembered!” her mother exclaimed.

“Your Majesty, it is a pleasure to see you again!” Killian said bowing and capturing Snow’s hand for a kiss.

“Oh my… Killian, you have become such a handsome and charming man!” Snow said, blushing furiously.

“Hey! I thought I was the ‘charming’ one”.

“Oh, darling, let someone have the title for the new generation!”.

“And that someone should definitely be Killian. Look how many women he has ‘charmed’ already” Ruby said gesturing with her arm to point a large group of women staring dumbly at Killian. “Looking this good would be enough to earn the title, but knowing to dance like that and being adorable… Charming, I think you should be worried”.

At this point Killian was the one blushing, and his hand was again scratching behind his ear. ‘Adorable indeed’ Emma thought.

“Could you please, stop. I would rather not discuss my appearance in front of a crowd!”

“Ok. So I will change the subject.” Said Melody “I am one of this ‘charmed’ women, and I would very much like to have a dance with the lieutenant. What do you say, Killian?”

“Oh, Ok. Care to join me to the next dance, Lady Melody?” Killian made a measure and offered her his hand, witch Melody accepted with a giggle.

Emma never hated someone more than she hated Melody in that moment. How someone could be so inappropriate, so stupid, so pathetic! Killian obviously wasn’t interested, was he? ‘Why is this bothering me so much?’.

“Well, Melody surely outsmarted all of us keeping her eyes in Killian. If I knew any better, I would have been the one calling dibs on that Greek God!” Said Alex, appreciatively.

“Killian is a human being, he is not a toy that one can call dibs on!” Now, Emma was very mad.

“Calm down, Emma, this was just a figure of speech!” retorted Alex.

The silence that followed was not a comfortable one. Emma could feel her mother’s searching gaze on her. Her father looked to the ground with a distant expression in his face, it was like he was lost in some unpleasant memory. Neal seamed taken aback by her outburst.

Very silently, Ruby spoke right in her ear “Are you Ok, Emma? You sounded… Jealous. Do you wanna go out and talk?”

‘Oh my God, that’s it! I’m jealous!’ she thought. She wanted all of Killian’s dances, complements, gazes and touches for herself. She discretely shook her head signaling that she had refused Ruby’s offer.

“Emma, can I talk to you for a moment?” Neal said, bringing Emma’s mind to his imminent proposal. She panicked, she didn’t know what to do! She liked Neal, but after seeing Killian she was questioning if she really liked Neal enough to commit herself to him for the rest of her life.

And, just like that, a miracle happened. A whole glass of wine was turned in front of Emma’s dress. Looking up, she saw the beverage came from her mother’s goblet.

“I am so sorry. Emma, come with me, I will help you to clean it up”.

She was never so much grateful for her mother’s perceptiveness and quick thinking before. 

 

\---------------------------------------------------------- 

 

In the Castle’s kitchen, rubbing Emma’s dress with a handkerchief, Snow asks “Emma, are you feeling well?”

Emma wanted to say that yes, she was feeling perfect. She wanted to say that she was happy because she has her best friend back and was about to get engaged. But she could not say any of that because she was feeling nauseated, disturbed, sad and scared. The worst part was that. She had no clue of the reason why she was feeling so miserable when not even fifteen minutes ago she was so happy. “I don’t know, mom… I was so happy. Killian is back… Suddenly I became… I don’t know.”  
  
“You were happy until Melody asked Killian to dance.”

“No, it wasn’t that… I am not jealous of Killian! He is my friend, mom, nothing more!”

With a knowing smirk, Snow said “I didn’t imply anything in that regard, Emma, you did.”

Feeling stunned, Emma retorted “Mom, I don’t… please… I don’t know it is so confusing. I haven’t seen him for so long, he always has been my favorite person… I don’t know what to think. Can I be honest with you? He is so gorgeous now, and he smells so good… Even his voice is sexy now, mom! I must confess, I am attracted to Killian and I don’t know what I’m feeling for him anymore. I’m feeling guilty. Am I being superficial? Is that it? Please, say something!”

Looking in her Mother’s eyes Emma saw a nostalgic look she wasn’t expecting. Her mother said “I remember the doubt and the confusion. I can’t say that understanding your feelings will be easy, but Emma, I can guarantee that the result will worth the pain of the process.” Sighing she asked “Do you want marry Neal?”

Emma tried to picture herself in the altar looking Neal in the eyes, but all she could imagine was the smile in the bluest of eyes waiting for her. Her gasp was the only answer she gave.

Her mother’s smile became a sad one. “You are considering not following your heart, aren’t you?”

Emma sometimes felt very misunderstood. To her mother all the questions had always have a simple answer (even if the execution was sometimes elusive). In Emma’s life, that was not the reality because she was the Savior. She was a prophesized hero on whom depended all the happy endings of the people of the Realm. Neal was the Dark One son, an alliance with the most powerful wizard of all was invaluable to her chance to succeed. Besides, she didn’t even know if she was in love with Killian. It was best to leave that box firmly closed.

“For now, help me to avoid his proposal tonight…”, was her answer.

“Of course, my darling.” 

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

 

The rest of the night passed on a blur. She considered, for a brief moment, to avoid Killian until she sorted her feelings out, but she rapidly pushed the idea away. She never would purposefully hurt Killian. With Snow’s help, she was able to not spent any time alone with Neal. When he questioned her about her avoidance, she easily blamed it on wanting to talk to Killian after so much time apart.

The three of then talked for a bit. She could see that Neal didn’t like Killian, but she couldn’t blame him, it was obvious that she shared a bond with her best friend that was stronger than anything they had. 

She went to sleep with a heart full of love and a very confused mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> The next chapter will reveal the Evil Queen's plan.
> 
> I will try to post it Thursday.


	4. Chapter 4

He was caressing her cheek with the palm of his hand.

“I missed you so much, my beautiful Swan”

She looked deeply into his ocean blue eyes, and saw his smile in his eyes before she saw it in his beautiful lips.

Killian moved slowly into her space. He touched her cheek with his, she inhaled deeply his delicious smell. Her heart was beating so fast. She could feel that something very important was about to happen.

He turned his head and kissed her in the cheek, in the jaw, in the chin. It was so tender that for a moment she almost cried.

Then his lips made contact with hers and all thoughts left her. She felt the explosion of feelings and want that was kissing Killian Jones. 

The kiss became more heated, her hands were all over his body. She wanted him so much that she thought she would pass out. Her legs were around his hips. His hands running through her body’s length made an electric feeling spread through her insides. She could feel his touch burning her.

In the distance she could hear a weird sound that was becoming louder. It was like someone was calling for her.

In that moment she waked up from one of the best dreams of her life by the calling of the object of said dream.

“Emma, are you awake, love? You should come to have breakfast with your parents and me. The council meeting will start in a short while.” 

The dream has been so real, she could still feel his lips, his taste. She didn’t know how she could possibly look at him without making it obvious how much she was lusting over him.

“I’m coming…” She sounded breathless even to her own ears, “just wait for me in the dinner room…”

“Ok, Emma. We’ll wait for you”.

Hugging her pillow, eyes closed, she tried to evoke the feeling of being with him. Even the fantasy made her heart race and a warm sensation spread through her body. She lost herself in her waken dream for a few moments before she made herself get up.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Entering the dining area, Killian was the first one she saw. She could swear that he got more handsome each time she looked at him.

“Love, you are here!” 

“Good morning. How was your night in land, lieutenant?”

“As hard as it is to believe, I spent plenty of nights in shore in the last few years, Swan.”

“What did you call me? Did you call me ‘swan’?” She said abruptly, almost sounding alarmed.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you looked like a swan last night… I didn’t realize that I said it out loud. Don’t worry, I won’t do it again. I had no idea it would bother you…”

“No, it didn’t bother me, it’s just that I dreamed you called me exactly that!”

“So, you dreamt of me, Swan?” He said flirtatiously.

She felt the blush spread through her face immediately. “I… you arrived yesterday… We were reunited after so much time… I guess it’s normal to…”

“Relax, Emma. I get it. I was just teasing you.”

The breakfast passed in a blink of an eye. The whole time Emma tried to suppress the memories of her dream, but it was hard to look at Killian and not wonder what would be like to kiss him, to taste him.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------

 

The council meetings were always held in the conference hall. All the Council members would sit in a big round table to discuss the most pressing matters of the Realm.

This meeting was more important than most, and a larger number of people were attending. Besides the constitutive council members (The Royal Family, The Dwarves, Ruby, Granny and the Heads of the Royals Army and Navy), the Dark One, Belle, Neal, Killian and Kings and Queens of near kingdoms were present as well.

“We are gathered here today to listen to the reports of Lieutenant Killian Jones of the Jewel of the Realm. He has important discoveries about the Evil Queen’s plan. It is extremely important that we pay attention to every little detail, because any clue can be essential to decipher what are we up against.” King David said.

“I have a question. Why aren’t the captain of the ship reporting instead of a lieutenant? I don’t know if it is even appropriate to someone from a low rank to be in here…” Neal asked bitterly. Emma couldn’t believe that he was questioning Killian’s presence. She was furious, but before she had a chance to respond, her father spoked.

“Captain Johnson was killed in battle almost five months ago. Killian executed the captain’s assassin and leaded the ship’s crew to the victory. After that, he was nominated the captain by his peers. Lieutenant Jones planned and conducted the whole operation that discovered the information that will be discussed here today. There is no one more qualified nor prepared to conduct this meeting than the Lieutenant.” David replied.

“Killian is one of our most trusted and valuable allies. I give him total access to any council he may want to attend. My judgment and authority won’t be questioned in my own court.” complemented Snow.

“I won’t tolerate that anyone talks to my son that way!” Said Rumpelstiltskin angrily.

“It’s ok, Papa. Please don’t lose your temper. I was in the wrong here.” Neal mediated, lessening Emma’s anger.

“As I was saying,” David continued “I will pass the word to Lieutenant Jones. Lieutenant, tell us what you discovered about the Queen’s plans.”

Killian was dressing his formal uniform and was adopting a military posture. He was very objective and professional and didn’t seemed affected at all by the discussion that preceded his speech. Emma was transfixed by him.

“My report will be about the events that happened right after I assumed the command of the Jewel. Our Captain was dead and we had some major structural damage on the ship due to the battle. Searching the enemy’s ship for clues about the attack that could have been hidden on board, I found a paper with an encrypted message. I immediately passed the paper to Midshipman Smee to decode its meaning. We had already made shore when he came back with the translation. 

“The message said: Tortuga’s Island, North forest – follow the river Nore for two miles - trail marked by the great Nymph – walk six miles. Leave Killian Jones’ heart in the Willow’s portal”

A collective gasp was heard in the hall. Emma was confused and a little nauseated. “I don’t understand. What does that mean?” She asked.

“Understanding the message’s meaning was our next task. I was convinced that the message was an instruction of where the pirates that had attacked our ship should get my heart once they had extracted it from my chest. 

“I reasoned with the crew that it was possible that the person who wanted my heart was Regina, because she is known for doing magic with human hearts. If we could arrive at the location described in the parchment before she was informed of the failure of the pirates’ mission, with some luck, we could find the Evil Queen and follow her to discover the place where she was hiding. If we weren’t so lucky, we still could discover some clue to decipher her plans, or, at least, some clue about who was after a human heart.

“The sailors were worried about my safety and about the possibility of the queen getting my heart if she found me during the mission. We hadn’t much time to decide the best plan, I thought the best we could do was to go to the location under cover and investigate. 

“I wrote to Queen Elsa asking for some kind of magic to disguise us. That was the logical path because Arendelle was in our way to the island. Queen Elsa brought her aunt Ingrid to the Jewel and she casted a spell on me and two other officers that would transform our appearances as long as we wore the medallions she gave us.

“We arrived at the island and located the Willow’s portal. We camped nearby and made turns observing the portal. After sixteen days, I saw a man approach he portal with a piece of a black mirror. He deposited the object in the middle of the portal, with a pulse of purple light the mirror was gone.

“After that I was certain that Regina was behind the activities on the portal, because her magic manifests itself in purple. Discussing what we saw, we concluded that the Evil Queen must had been receiving magical ingredients through the portal. We decided to spy and discover which other things would be sent to her. We thought that it would be our best chance to discover her plans. It was risky to do that, because she could put her plans into action before we could figure her them out. We decided that we should steal the next ingredient so, if she found another heart to substitute mine, she would not be able to cast her spell. 

“We had intercepted this crown two days after that” Opening a box, Killian revealed a delicate diadem.

“This crown belonged to my mother!” exclaimed Snow. “She gave it away when I was a young girl. The realm was being devastated by hunger after a very dry summer that ruined the crops. This crown was the only thing my mother had left from her Mother, but she gave that away to buy food for our people. This was when she got the moniker ‘Mother Queen’”.

“Why would Regina want a diadem?” Asked David.

“This diadem is not any jewel, Dearie, it is a symbol of this realm’s Royal lineage. It is also an object who represents the sacrifice of the former queen and her decision to put her people ahead of herself and her feelings. It can be a powerful ingredient.” Rumpelstiltskin said without removing his eyes from Killian.

“So, Killian’s right, the queen is gathering ingredients to a new curse?” Emma asked.

“Perhaps… I sense that the lieutenant has some precious information waiting to be shared, let’s hear him.” Rumpelstiltskin said uncharacteristically serious.

“Ok,” said Killian “to make my report short, I will list what we saw being transported through the portal. The list is: a broken piece of black mirror; a very thick golden ring – that was almost big enough to belong to a giant; something that appeared to be a braid made of human hair and a bottle containing what seemed to be water, but sometimes turned to what seemed to be fluid ice.”

“I know what this is!” Said Belle enthusiastically “It is the water of the Cocytus river. One of the rivers of the underworld. This is a river of flowing ice. It is the river of lamentations.”

“How could someone get water from a river in the underworld?” Snow seemed skeptic.

“If what the Evil Queen needed was easily obtained, we would already be doomed, Dearie.”

“Well, so part of Regina’s curse ingredients is: A black mirror, a giant ring, a human hair braid, water from the Cocytus river, Snow’s Mother diadem and a human heart.” Summarized David.

The room became silent for a long time after that. Killian ended the silence, “Your Majesty, I think it’s urgent that we decide a line of action, while we still have time.”

“Right. You are right, Killian” Snow said, taking control of the situation. “Belle and Rumpelstiltskin should start to research about those ingredients and what kind of curse they could be a part of. I will send the dwarfs and some fairies to investigate the Willow’s Portal. Killian, you should stay in the castle’s grounds to be protected until we find out what is Regina planning to do with your heart.”

“Your Majesty, I beg you to reconsider. I want to be useful, I want to help the Kingdom!”

“My decision is final, Killian. You already helped us more than we could hope for, and you are too valuable for us to risk your safety.”

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

 

The dining hall was very lively the morning after the council meeting. The council members have spent the night in the castle and were having breakfast with the Royal family.

When she entered the room, Emma found everyone already eating. She sat between her father and Neal, across from her sat Killian and he was engaging in an animated conversation with Ruby and Alex.

While she ate her bread, Emma was absorbed in his tale. He spoke with such a passion about the wonders that he saw in his voyages throughout the seas, that is impossible not to want to be a part of it. Ruby was so interested in his tale about a mermaid attack (that ended with the crew making friends with the mermaids and introducing them to rum), that she almost fell from her chair in her unconscious the attempt to get closer to listen better.

The princess had found a new appreciation for her best friend. She hadn’t realized until the day before how much Killian has grown. It was not only his appearance that has improved drastically. He was an adult now, a true hero at that. He has been put in an extremely difficult situation, he had to assume control during the crise, and he had benn flawless. He guided his crew, he leaded them through an incredibly risky mission and came home victorious. He didn’t back down even when his life was at stake. Killian has become a very brave man.

The Queen was so very happy about being able to have all her friends in her home that she allowed Emma to cancel all of her activities for the day.

Emma was very excited by the opportunity to spent her day with Killian, but as soon as she expressed this thought, Neal asked to talk to her in private.

“Emma, you know I am leaving to the Dark Castle tonight. I can’t believe you would rather spent this time with some friend than with your boyfriend.”

Emma wanted to retort that Killian wasn’t just ‘some friend’, but she knew she couldn’t, so she said instead, “You are right, I wasn’t thinking strait. It’s just that I spent so much time without seeing Killian that I forgot he will be here tomorrow and you won’t”

This made a smile spread in Neal’s face, and she felt bad for being disappointed with the way the day was turning out.

Their day was pleasant enough, but she could not make disappear the will that Neal wasn’t there, particularly when they got back to the castle that evening to see all her friends still talking to Killian. 

She was longing for Killian and she knew that nothing could change between them, she had to put her people before her happiness and her people needed her family to have the Dark One as an ally. Besides she didn’t know if Killian felt the same way about her. ‘I could be happy with Neal’, she thought, the problem was that the longer she looked at Killian the more difficult it became to believe in this particular thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will post the next chapter on Monday.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

 

She said her goodbyes to Neal, Rumpel and Belle that night with the promise of seeing then again in a fortnight for the next council.

The next few of days were some of the happiest of her life. She would have breakfast with her parents, Ruby and Killian. Her mornings were spent with her studies, but her mother had allowed to skip her afternoon duties, so she could have some time with Killian.

Getting to spend time with Killian after so much time apart was almost surreal. They talked about everything, from the most trivial things to ethics and philosophy. She challenged some of his simplistic military views while he disabused her of some of hers preconceived notions about how the world outside of the castle worked. Killian didn’t fear to call her out about her defensive mechanisms that, more often than not, hold her back. They made each other grow, they made each other better.

It was getting harder to ignore the physical attraction that was between them. Emma had never seen someone so gorgeous and attractive. He was appealing even in his imperfections. She was ashamed to admit how attracted she was to the scar he had in his right cheek. A hand full of times, she had to actively stop herself from caressing the scar in a very inappropriate way.

Every time his skin touched hers she felt a spark impossible to ignore and, unless she was mistaken, she could see in his eyes that he felt it too. His proximity and his scent always made her heart speed up and left her dizzy in the most pleasant way. The uncertainty that Killian felt the same way she did, mixed with the hope that he did, made the whole experience of falling in love with him even more exhilarating.

Her nights were spent awake fantasizing about being with him, or sleeping and dreaming of him.

Arriving at the Jewel, she watched him for a bit without him noticing. 

“Bolton, don’t forget to check all the sails today. We could have to put her back out there anytime if something happens.” Killian commanded. 

“Eager to abandon me again, I see…” Emma announced her presence. 

“Oh, you heard your mother, I am not allowed to go.”

Emma could see he was not pleased with that particular turn of events.

“Is it really that bad to stay?” The hurt was evident in her voice.

“Oh Emma, of course not!” He said, reaching for her hand, “I just don’t like the idea of not being able to fight to protect you”.

The intense expression in his eyes made her heart race. In that moment she was almost certain that he felt the same way about her.

“Our fight is to protect the whole Realm, Killian, not just me. I am not a damsel in distress, I am the savior.”

“I know, I know. It is just… You are what I’m fighting for, Swan.”

They spent a whole minute with eyes locked before they decided to go for a walk in the gardens maze. They played for a bit, trying to get lost and then finding each other. Emma could appreciate the irony of their little hide and seek game being so symbolically similar to the game they were playing in real life.

 

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The two weeks since the last meeting to discuss their strategy passed in a blink of an eye. Before she was prepared, all the council members were back as well as Rumpelstiltskin and Neal.

The reencounter with Neal was awkward, Emma was feeling disappointed about not being able to spent all her free time with Killian anymore and, at the same time, she was feeling guilty about her feelings for the man who was not her boyfriend.

Kissing Neal provoked in her the inexplicable feeling of being unfaithful to Killian, so she avoided doing it the best the she could. At the same time the more distant she was from Neal, the more guilt she felt. There was nothing she could do to suppress her feelings for Killian, at the same time she couldn’t end things with Neal. Emma was miserable beyond measure while she waited to the next council meeting.

 

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The assembly started with the normal formalities. This time her mother passed the word to Belle, who has found in her research the curse that Regina was probably trying to cast.

“I found a curse that link all the object’s that Lieutenant Jones saw going through the portal and the crown he was able to intercept. If we believe the giant ring that Killian saw is the Ring of Gyges – the mythological ring that makes the person who wears it invisible – then I have an answer for this puzzle.”

“And what is it?” Grumpy enquired.

“It’s a mythical curse called ‘The Golden Apple Curse'”.

King Charming was a little amused by this “Really, an apple again? She has no creativity.”

“Oh Dearie, don’t let yourself be fooled by the name. We’ll be in serious trouble if Regina succeed.” Rumple didn’t seem amused at all.

“As I was saying, the golden apple curse has it’s named based on the legend of Paris. To Paris was given the task to decide to which Goddess (Athena, Hera or Aphrodite) should be given an apple made of gold. The three Goddesses offered him different gifts in exchange for the apple: Aphrodite offered him the most beautiful woman who ever lived; Athena promised to make him the most intelligent of the men and Hera offered to make him King. Paris chose Aphrodite and received in exchange the prettiest of women: Helen.”

“Ok, this is a very interesting history, even if it is a bit sexist… But what does this history have to do with Evil Queen’s threat?” Emma inquired impatiently.

Belle looked straight into her eyes to respond “You see, Paris had to choose between Power, Intelligence and Love. He chose Love, and that choice had horrific consequences: it started a vicious war that resulted in Paris’ death and in the destruction of his city.

“The legend is about the devastating power of our choices. The curse explores our intrinsic fear of make, as Paris did, the wrong choices in life. The curse creates an alternative version of oneself, in the head for the person cursed, for each choice the person makes. This alternative version shows continually what could have been, in a distorted and cursed way, if the person had made a different choice.

“I found a story about a whole realm devastated by this curse. It was said that part of the people became insane, while the rest was paralyzed by the fear of making choices.” A heavy silence dominated the room.

After what felt like an hour, the Queen spoke, “So what are the ingredients needed?” 

The answer was given by Belle, “To cast the curse, legend says it is needed a black mirror; the Gyges’ Ring; water from the River of Lamentations; hairs from the heads of three powerful necromancers; blood from a baby extracted before its first cry and an object representing a life-changing choice. The Object has to be linked to the lineage of the person that will be cursed, or, in this case, with the Royal lineage of the Realm to be cursed.” 

“My Mother’s diadem…”

“Precisely” Belle agreed.

“It means that she has everything she needs, except for the baby’s blood and the diadem…” Killian said.

“What worries me the most is that the blood is easily obtained, and the diadem can be substituted for another object. For all we know, the Queen could have all the ingredients already.” Belle finished. 

“This is a terrible thought” Charming said to himself. 

“Wait a minute,” Killian spoke again, “if those are all the ingredients, why did the Queen want my heart?” 

Everyone looked at him. He was right, the whole discovery of the curse was due to the Queen’s pursuit of his heart. 

“Yes, about that heart,” Rumpelstiltskin said maliciously “let me see what is special about it, lieutenant.” 

The Dark One vanished and reappeared in front of Killian. With a rapid movement, his arm was inside Killian’s chest. 

“What the hell do you think you are doing?” Killian asked furiously. 

“Examining your heart, dearie. Stop whining and let me do it.” Rumpelstiltskin ignored the protests around the room and pulled his arm from Killian’s chest. Surprisingly nothing happened and the dark one’s hand didn’t leave Killian’s insides.

“What are doing, Princess?” Rumpel asked Emma. 

“I won’t allow you to take Killian’s heart” Emma shouted. 

The tension in the room was palpable. No one said a word for a whole minute, until Killian broke the silence. “I will make a deal with you Dark One. I will allow you to examine my heart if you share with the Queen, King and the Princess all the information you come to obtain about Regina’s plans from now on, no matter if doing it is the most advantageous thing for yourself or not. Deal?” 

Rumpelstiltskin seemed conflicted. Belle was the one who spoke next. “Rumpel, they have the right to know everything we come to discover. It is a reasonable deal. Take it.” 

With a sigh, Rumpelstiltskin agreed “Deal.”

“Emma, let him take my heart.” “

No!” the princess said. “What if he does something to your heart? I can’t risk it Killian!”

“The Deal was already made, _Princess_. Now, let go of his heart!”

“Papa won’t do anything with Killian’s heart. Right, papa? Promise Emma you won’t do a thing to his heart!”

“I promise, dearie! Your Lieutenant’s heart will be back in his chest exactly the same as it left. You have my word!”.

The words were reassuring, but Emma didn’t like the look in the Dark One’s face. She looked into Killian’s eyes and saw certainty in them. Sighing, she let go of her magic. 

With the heart in his hands, the Dark One started to analyze it. After sometime in silence, he told what he found. “Your heart doesn’t seem special at all. It’s a good heart, but it isn’t untouched by dark feelings. It is a resilient heart… but I don’t see how the Evil Queen could use that combined with the other ingredients. Ah, I see… it’s a heart full of love for the Princess. This she could use! The trust you and the princess share… I think she was planning to control you to get to the princess... It must have been devastating to come home to your beloved princess and seeing her with another man! Yes, I can see the pain… You shouldn’t dream so high, Lieutenant” Rumpelstiltskin’s eyes shone with malice. 

“Stop it!” Killian said with a pained expression “why are you saying these things! These are private…”

“Oh, but it was our deal, wasn’t it? How did you put it... I am obliged to share all the information I come to obtain about Regina’s plans from now on.” 

“Rumpel…” Belle sounded disappointed. 

“Ok, I think I saw enough.” With an abrupt motion, Killian’s heart was inside him again.

Emma was dizzy because of what happened. Could she believe her ears? Did this mean that Killian was in love with her? Could she have interpreted that wrongly? And at the same time, she was hurt by the exposure of Killian’s private feelings and pain in front of everyone. Was she causing him pain? She felt like she was going to be sick. 

After a painful silence, Killian spoke again. “Well, I think we have more important things to discuss than my feelings… For one, Regina could already have all the ingredients to execute the curse. Do we know a way to stop the curse after being cast, Belle?”

The tension in the room could be cut with a knife.  Clearing her throat, Belle answered Killian, “Well, it is hard to be sure. Believing my researches, it is possible that killing the person who casted the curse could end it, but I am only theoretically speaking”

“That’s it, then” Said Snow, “We have to send a searching party to look for Regina.”

“To either retrieve the ingredients or to Kill the Queen if we are too late” Finished Charming. 

“I will end this council meeting now. We have a lot to think about. The ones that want to join the party can talk to me until tomorrow afternoon. Thank you all, especially Belle. Good day to all of you” Snow said, ending the meeting.

Emma studied Killian expression. He was still mortified.

Since Rumpelstiltskin’s speech, Killian haven’t looked in Emma’s direction. She still wasn’t certain that she had heard it right. Did Killian love her?

Emma’s heart was beating fast, her mouth was dry and her hands were trembling. A warm feeling has filling her… It was hope, hope was filling her. ‘Oh my God, is it possible?’. 

She could feel Neal staring at her, but she couldn’t face him in that moment. She was so lost in her own thoughts that she barely heard her mother ending the meeting. Killian excused himself and was out of the room before Emma could move.

Neal grab her by the wrist and made her look at him. “Emma, I think we have to talk… I can’t say that I wasn’t concern about the way Killian behave around you before. But now, after what my papa revealed… I think we should talk about what we are going to do…” 

“Neal, now is not the time. I haven’t spoken to Killian yet. I don’t even know what is going on…” 

“It’s pretty obvious what is going on, Emma”

“Neal, please! Let me go talk to him… I promise you that I will find you and we will talk about whatever you want. Just not right now”.

Seeming a little hurt, Neal let her go. Emma looked at him for a moment. He was a good man. He was considerate and fair. Again, Emma felt guilty about her feelings for Killian. But she couldn’t ignore the happiness she felt when she thought about the possibility of a happy ending with Killian Jones. 

She ran out of the room, but Killian was nowhere to be seen.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------

 

The sun was setting when she finally found him.

He was strikingly beautiful all painted in red and gold against the ocean and the horizon. Looking lost in thought, he didn’t notice her approaching until she was a mere foot away from him.

“Please, Emma, I can’t face you right now... I don’t need anything from you… I love what we have, I never have expected anything but what we already have, you don’t need to worry. But for now, just let me be alone.”

“How long, Killian?”

“Emma…” “How long?” She asked more firmly. 

Then those bottomless blue eyes were on hers “I don’t really know. Since I met you? I think even before that. It is as if my heart had always been waiting for you. I guess I always knew, since I saw you crying when you got lost the day we met. In that moment I knew that making you happy again was more important than the risk of losing a hand over the apple theft. You always were the piece that was missing to life make sense, to the world be wonderful, to life be worth living. I knew immediately that I loved you. Gradually, I became aware that I was in love with you.” He turned his back to her, a defeated weight in his shoulders.

“Killian, why did you never tell me?”

“I didn’t want to lose you…”

“You could never lose me… I wouldn’t be able to live without you. You know I would be lost without you…”

“Well, you were not lost without me. You are in a relationship, Emma, you were pretty good without me!” he sounded almost angry.

“This isn’t fair, Killian! We didn’t have any commitment, I did nothing wrong!”

“I never said you did! I only said that you didn’t seem to need me or to be lost without me! For all I see, you would not even notice if I was gone. I think it would be best if you stopped pretending otherwise.”

“You think I am pretending? I can’t believe that you just said that to me. After all we went through, after all the years of our friendship! How dare you play down all what we have together?” She was almost shouting.

“I am being honest, Emma. You were engaged and I didn’t even know about it!” He shouted back. After a calming breath, he continued “You were just fine without me, I think you are better off! I wasn’t by your side and you were happy, you learned to control your magic – you stopped the bloody Dark One today! You are perfectly fine without me.”

Emma was paralyzed, she didn’t know how to react. She was so confused. She didn’t even know if she was mad anymore.

After a pause he went on “You want to know why I didn’t tell you how I really felt? It was because I always knew that you meant much more to me than I meant to you! I always knew it! But even so, I was certain that when I finally told you it would hurt, it would hurt to have to give up the last of my hope… I was an idiot to hope to begin with, I never was good enough for anyone, it was really stupid to think, even for a second, that I would be enough for the princess.” 

Emma was almost calm again, but after hearing this last part she felt her rage start anew. She was trembling when she replied, and her voice was low and rough with her fury. “How dare you to presume what is and what isn’t enough for me? You never gave me a chance to think if I wanted something more with you. You decided everything for us! You were a coward, Killian Jones! You want to know why I seemed ‘Ok’ without you? It was because I never was without you! I relied in your letters every step of the way. It is because of you, because of what I feel for you, that I know how to control my magic at all. But nothing else matters now, because your self-deprecation decided our lives for us! Now I am with Neal, someone who actually had the guts to court me!”

“That is very rich! Are you saying that you felt the same way about me? You are saying that if I had gone to you before joining the navy and said ‘Emma, I am in love with you’ you would have said that you loved me back and waited for me? Is that what you are saying?”

“I… I… I really never have thought about it before. You were my best friend… Maybe if you had said something things would have changed…”

“You see, Emma! You said it yourself, that is not how you see me! So, why are you acting like that? I didn’t ruin anything! If anything, I saved some years of our friendship from the embarrassment of my feelings hanging over us…”  
  
“Killian, that was not what I said, I said I never had thought of you like that then, I…I’m trying to say… Since you came back…” 

“Emma, please, I can’t deal with your pity. I really don’t want or need you feeling bad for me. Please leave it at that”.

“Killian, are you listening to yourself. I was not saying anything out of pity.”

“Are you saying that you love me? Are you leaving Neal, then?”

“Killian, I… He is… We are together for almost a year now… I…” 

“That was what I thought… It is best if you leave me be for now, Emma”.

“I can’t lose you…” she could feel the tears burning the back of her eyes. 

“You won’t. One thing that we made clear today is that _I_ can’t live without you. You don’t have anything to worry about” Killian turned his back to her and moved in the castle’s direction.

Emma thought about stopping him, but she had nothing to say and she was feeling deflated after the fight. 

How what was supposed to be the moment when they confessed their feelings to each other could have played out the way it did? Emma made her way to the castle, and when she got there she made up an excuse and skipped dinner, going directly to her room to wallow in her misery for the rest of the night.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

 

That night she dreamt of Killian again. In the dream, they never had fought. She was in his arms, while he kissed her lazily.

She felt so happy in the dream that she didn’t remembered immediately about their fight when she woke up.

“Honey, are you ok? Are you feeling better this morning?”, Snow asked her from outside of her room.

Looking out of the window, she saw the snow falling into the castle’s grounds. The grey of the skies was a perfect match for her mood. “Actually, Mom, I am not felling very well. I think I’m going to stay in bed this morning.”

“Ok dear. I think you should know that Killian will be joining us for breakfast again…”

“Mom, I’m not faking it, I am really not feeling well. Latter we’ll talk”

“Ok. Feel better, Darling.”

After that, Emma spent the majority of her day in bed. She thought over and over about her conversation with Killian. By nightfall, Emma was ready to talk to him again, to sort things out, to save their friendship, to see what their relationship would be from now on. She went looking for her him, but she found her father first.

“Emma, are you feeling better? Come with me, eat some leftovers, you can’t stay so much time without food.”  
  
“I’m Ok, Dad.” She said, but she accepted the bread and cheese he was offering her.“Dad, have you seen Killian?”

“Yes, he and I were talking about an hour ago.”

“Is he in the castle?”

“No, he went home to prepare himself for his departure.”  
  
“Departure? What departure?”

“Oh, yes. You don’t know. Killian asked us for a meeting this morning. He asked to be part of the team that will search for Regina.” 

“And you allowed it? What about the fact that she wants his heart?” She asked incredulously. 

“Emma, your Mother and I are as concerned for his safety as you are. Killian presented us with a plan: Rumpelstiltskin will take his heart again and Blue will enchant it so the Evil Queen will not be able to use it to control him.” 

“How does that make this thing safer for him? Best case scenario, it makes it safer for the Kingdom, but not for Killian!”

 With a sigh, Charming replied “Emma, Killian has the heart of a fighter. We can’t hold him against his will, he wants to be a part of this. All the information we have we own to him. He is a brilliant Sailor and strategist, he would be very helpful.” 

“No! He is not leaving me so soon that easily!” Emma said, already moving to leave the castle. 

“Emma, where are you going? It’s been snowing all day!” 

“Dad, it is just a little bit of snow. I will be fine!” 

Without give her father more time to try to dissuade her, Emma was out of the castle in as soon as she could. Running to Killian’s cabin, Emma was furious all over again. He was running away from her! How dare he leave without even telling her! Each step only fueled her anger.

 

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Her feet were numb and her skirt was damp with defrosted snow and mud when she nocked at the cabin’s door. “Killian Jones, open this door immediately!” 

After a few seconds, she heard his steps moving to the entrance of the cottage.

Opening the door, he said, “Emma, what are you doing here? You could catch your death in this storm!”

“Well, it’s a pity I’m still alive, it would make easier for you to avoid me is I wasn’t!” 

“What are you talking about? You were the one avoiding me since yesterday!” 

“I didn’t talk to you for one day, Killian! You are the one leaving on a suicide mission!” She was crying again. 

Sighing, Killian spoke, “Emma, please come in and change your clothes, then we can argue as much as you want. I’m worried about your health, love.” 

She entered the room and moved to his quarters without looking at him. Clothes changed for a shirt and pants of him, Emma went back to the main room. 

“Well, now you will stop being a coward and face me?” 

“I would appreciate if you stop calling me coward…” 

“That is a pity, because I won’t stop. You are a coward, a coward that is abandoning me again!”, she was screaming again, using her anger to mask her hurt. 

That managed to make Killian as furious as he has been the day before, “I am not a coward, all I did since I left was to put my life at risk to protect you and your Realm. How am I a coward, Emma?” 

“You are right, you put your life at risk, that you seem to do bravely. But your heart… your heart you protect as the scared little boy I found at the docks! You are a coward, Killian! You say you love me, but you rather break my heart than to be honest with me!” As soon as she stopped her speech, she could see she shouldn’t have said those words. Killian changed his behavior in an instant, he would appear, for someone that wasn’t paying close attention, much calmer than before, but his eyes held a fire ten times more intense and when he spoke he used a timbre an octave lower than normal.  
  
“You want me to be honest? OK, I’ll be honest! It killed me to see you with Neal! I was stupidly hoping that now that I have grown you could see me differently, that maybe I could win your heart! But, as usually, things didn’t go well for me and I got my heart broken! Is that honest enough for you?” 

As Emma was silent, Killian went on, “Maybe I should be honest and tell how you are even more beautiful now than you were when we were kids. That I dreamt that I am kissing you, making love to you, almost every night since I came back. That I have lived ecstasy and pain all at once this past two weeks, because as painful as it is to not have you, the time I pass by your side is more meaningful then all the adventures of those past three years combined.” 

Killian’s rage was building up with each word he enunciated. Unconsciously, he was moving closer to Emma, making her back of. Killian seemed taller, his expression was furious. Emma was startled to find that she was finding his whole demeanour very sexy. His eyes were electric blue, his brows drown together. His lips moved strongly, attracting her eyes, making Emma want to bite them, to taste them. His voice, low and hoarse, was making her insides ache with want.   Her back was already at the door, but he continued to get closer. 

“You would like me to say how it’s killing me right now to hold back?” His eyes moved to her mouth, “How all I can think right now is to taste you, to feel you.” 

She could not hold herself back any longer. She grabbed the lapels of his coat and crashed her lips to his.His lips were smooth and warm, the sensation of his mouth in hers was something she wasn’t prepared for, it made her lips alive with the most pleasurable sensation. The feeling of him was overwhelming, sending shivers down her spine and spreading a fire within her she never knew before. 

Then, he was kissing her back with a passion. His lips moved against hers with a precision that was hard to comprehend in such a passionate moment. She was breathless, his arms around her waist, pulling her even closer, took away the last of her rationality.  

She took his lower lips in hers and ran her tongue through it to taste more of him. He responded with a moan that sent waves of heat through her sex. He deepened the kiss. The feeling of his tongue, his moisture, his taste, was incredible, it was much more than any dream could conjure. Her hands were in his hair and in his neck. Each new part of him she felt fired even more her desire. 

He was pressing her against the door now. Her hands traveled through his upper body, she squeezed his chest, felling his lean muscles. Her hands moved on their own accord to hem of his shirt. She pulled his shirt up a bit, and when she felt the smoothness of his skin and the hardness of his muscles in her palms, she could feel waves of pleasure coming through her hands.

 Killian ran his hand in the back of her thighs and lifted them. She took the hint and wrapped her legs in a tight embrace around his hips. 

The feeling of his kisses in her neck, combined with the feeling of his bulge pressing her covered entrance drove her crazy. He trusted his hips and the friction in her clit made her cry in pleasure. She could feel her body responding to his in ways she never knew it could. 

In that moment, Killian put her back on the ground and broke the kiss. She could see that he was trying to step back, but he couldn’t make himself let go of her completely. 

“Emma, I’m so sorry… I shouldn’t have… that was…” 

She cut him of taking his lips in hers again. The second kiss was less desperate, but as hot and full of passion as the previous. 

When he broke the kiss this time, she could see the hurt in his eyes. 

“Why are you doing this to me?”, Killian asked, looking at the ground, “This isn’t a game for me, Emma. Tomorrow you will have forgotten everything about this night, but I won’t!” 

She put her hand in his cheek, and made him look at her before she spoke. “I could never forget about tonight, Killian. I am trying to talk to you since yesterday. I have feelings for you too. I, I think I am in love with you, Killian Jones” 

His eyes were so bright that she couldn’t help but kiss him again. This time he didn’t pulled back. She ended up siting in his lap on a chair while they made out. His kisses on the base of her throat and the way he moved against her while holding her tight with his strong arms were making her so excited that she would auto combust if she didn’t have him soon.  

This made Killian regain his sobriety once again. “Emma, we can’t. You are in a relationship.” Killian stopped their movements. With a sigh he gave her a kiss in the crown of her head. “We need to talk, and I think it won’t be possible unless we put some distance between us.” 

Sighing, she agreed, “Ok, you are right.”

Killian leaded them to the dining table, making sure they sat in opposite sides of the table. 

“Emma… I’m so sorry for my previous behavior”, He said scratching behind his ear. “I never meant to lose my temper with you… I didn’t realize before yesterday how much I was holding inside of me.” 

“Don’t do that, don’t apologize. I am happy that things happen the way they did. It leaded us to those kisses. And, now that I know how you kiss, I could never regret anything that lead me to kiss you”, Emma said smirking. 

The shy smile in his face made her heart lose a beat.  

“Emma, I love you. I’ve always loved you. Having you in my arms was the best thing that happened to me… But I believe in good form. I wanna win your heart, but I wanna do this without any treachery. I want to court you in the open, I won’t act against everything I believe, not even to be with you. If I win your heart it will be because you want me. If you chose to be with Neal, I will pretend that nothing ever happened between us. I swear to you… But I want to make clear that if you chose me, I will give you everything that I got, everything that I am. I will follow you to the end of the world, or time, if you have me.” 

“Killian, you’ve already won my heart. I love you Killian…” 

The smile that spread through his face put the sun in shame. “What about Neal?” He asked, containing his hope a bit. 

“I… I thought I was in love with him… I thought that I was in love with him until the ball, until you came back to me… I like him very much, he is a very nice person, but he isn’t you. You are my person, Killian.” 

“Does it mean that you are choosing me?” 

“My heart will always choose you, but my head… I don’t know if I have the freedom to do that. The Dark One is a very powerful ally. As the savior, I don’t know if I have the right to make this choice with my heart…” saying that broke her heart.  

“I understand.” his face fell and he averted his eyes. When Killian spoke again, he sounded hurt and defeated, “I should escort you back to the castle then, Princess”.  

The look in his face made an acute pain squeeze her chest. In that moment, she knew that she couldn’t go on with her life without being with him. Choosing Killian wasn’t a choice because there was no other possible option for her.   

“No, Killian, I didn’t say I’m choosing Neal.” 

“You’re not?” He looked cautious now. 

“Maybe I should act with my mind, maybe I should put my people before myself. Maybe I even could do this. But I absolutely can’t put anything or anyone above you. I love you Killian! I am the product of true love. I am the savior and the source of the hope of all my people. Now I will mix the two of them. I will put all of my hope into us, I will put my hope in love. True love can conquer anything after all.” She was crying when she ended her speech. 

“I love you, too, my Swan.” In a second, Killian was lifting and kissing her.

One look at his face and she knew she had done the right thing. 

After a few moments, he spoke, “I should escort you home anyway, Swan, it’s getting late.” 

“Wait, we still have to discuss your departure. Are you still going after the Evil Queen?” 

“Emma… I… This curse… I couldn’t… I have to, love.” 

“Are you going to leave me, Killian? We just found each other…” 

“I don’t want to leave you, Princess, but I have to do the right thing for you. I have to fight for you, for our happy ending.” 

Emma contemplated what he said for a moment. He was right, it was time to fight. But she wouldn’t let he fight alone. She was the savior, it was her fight. It was time to face her destiny. “OK”, Emma said. 

“Ok?”, Killian asked, “Not putting up a fight is so unlike you.” 

“Oh, Killian Jones, I am putting up a fight! I agreed with you, but on one condition: I will be joining the party too.” 

“Emma, you can’t be serious! You are the crown princess; your life is much too valuable.” 

“Killian, this is my fight. I’m not any princess, I am the savior. It’s my destiny to join this fight. Now I’m going to grab my destiny with my own hands. I can choose at least when and how I’ll join this fight. And I am choosing to start this fight now, with you by my side.” 

His eyes searched hers for a long time, when he spoke, his voice was full of pride, “I love you, my fierce Princess! And I’ll be by your side to protect you all the way” 

“The only one who saves me is me, Killian! I thought you knew that.” She said smiling. 

“Believe me, I do, Emma. But let me have this, please?” He said pouting. 

“Ok, fine. Now let’s go to bed.” “What? I thought I was going to escort you back!” Killian said, panicking a little. 

“Relax, I don’t bite…” Emma said, already moving to his bedroom. Turning playfully her head to him, she added, “much.” 

Killian followed her to his bedroom. They laid in bed together and he hold her tight the whole night. They slept peacefully.

When Emma woke up, lying her head in Killian’s firm chest, feeling his breathing and his heartbeat, she knew that she wanted it to be her forever more than she wanted anything in her life.

 

\------------------------------------------------------- 

 

The walk to the castle in the next morning was playful and full of joy. Neither of them could stop smiling, and they took much longer than normal to get to the destination because they would spot to kiss and hold each other many times along the way.

 Entering the main hall, Emma saw her parents. They were obviously waiting for her. 

“Emma, how are you feeling?” Snow said, looking to Emma and Killian’s linked hands, “I can see that both of you made amends.” 

“Yes, we did. But we have to spoke to both of you in private.” Emma said. 

“Ok… what is going on, Emma?” David asked in a lower voice. 

“After breakfast we will talk.” Emma replied. 

Breakfast was weird. Emma felt pressured between the loving glances she was receiving from Killian and the questioning looks Neal was giving her. 

She called Neal aside and talk to him. Initially, he tried to change her mind, he talked about how much he loved her, that they were building a future together. Eventually, he gave up. He said with a pained expression that he always was jealous of Killian, of the way her eyes sparkled when she talks about him, and that deep down he knew that things would end this way since the day of her birthday’s ball. 

Saying him goodbye was bittersweet, he would always have a place in her heart. If it wasn’t for what she felt about Killian, she was sure that the two of them could have been happy together. She didn’t regret her decision, though, because she knew that there was no love as deep as the one she felt for Killian, she knew that together they would have the happiest of the endings. She only hoped that Neal could find his true love as well someday.  

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------

 

Later that day, Emma, Killian and her parents were reunited in the conference room.

Her father was the first one to speak: “Well, Emma, it is clear that you broke up with Neal... Now you are here to talk to us. There is something going on between you and Killian”, David had a closed off and grave expression on.

Emma became a little apprehensive, she really thought that she would have her parents’ approval. 

“Well, Your Majesty, I am here precisely to ask your permission to court your daughter.” Killian said solemnly. 

Emma’s parents broke into twin grins. “It was about time!” Snow said. 

“What?” Emma was very confused about the lack of surprise her parents were showing. 

“Oh, Emma, we always thought that this was a possibility, since you were kids me and your father wondered… But after seeing the two of you dancing in the ball, we knew it was just a matter of time.” 

Both her parents enveloped her and Killian in warm embraces. 

“You two could have said something, it would have spared me and Killian some heartache.” 

“There are some things you have to discover for yourself.” David spoke, “Besides, you are too stubborn, you would not have listened to us anyway.” 

Before Emma could reply, Killian said, “He is right, love, and you know it.” 

“Ok,” said Snow, “we should go now. As happy as I am about the news we still have to take care of the preparations to the departure of the mission that will search for Regina.” 

“Mom, about the mission…” Emma started, but Snow interrupted her. 

“Oh, of course, now we will have to replace Killian. Don’t worry, that won’t be a problem, Darling.” 

“No, Mom, actually Killian is still going... and so am I.” 

“What? Emma, this is out of question! You are not going.” Her father cut her out. 

“Please, let me speak, Father.” Emma said. David was about to speak, but Snow interrupted him and made a sign indicating Emma to procced. “We all have known for years that defeating Regina and her evil plans is my destiny. I’ve been being prepared to do that since I was eleven years old. All I’m asking now is that you two trust me to do just that. Let me fight, I am a grown woman, I know I can do it!” 

“OK.” Snow said. 

“What?” Charming shouted in disbelief. 

“Charming, our daughter is right. She is the savior, we couldn’t shelter her from this fight even if we tried, and it wouldn’t be right from us to take her choice form her even if we could.”

“But, Snow, Emma has never gone out there alone before. It is too dangerous.” 

“She won’t be alone. I’ll be with her. It’s time for me to face my stepmother again.” 

“I’ll go with the two of you, then” David said. 

“No, father. You have to stay! You are the King. With mom gone you can’t leave the people of the Kingdom to fend for themselves in a moment of crises!” 

David tried to protest, but Snow was quicker, “You know our daughter is right. We will be ok. You have to trust us.” 

“I do, of course I do. I can’t believe in what I’m saying… Ok, I agree with this plan.” David said looking displeased. 

During all of their discussion, Killian stood still, looking a little lost.Emma grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the room talking to her parents from above her shoulder, “Well, let’s start the preparations then.” 

Leaving the room, she heard her mother say to her father, “Our baby will be a great leader one day.”

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

Preparing to a journey to chase an evil sorceress took more effort than Emma previously thought possible. By the end of the day, she was exhausted and her nerves were jangled. She never thought she would be that afraid of her battle against Regina. 

Her evening was spent in a council reunion discussing strategy. The Jewel of the Realm would head to the west end of the dark forest because Blue had tracked Regina’s magic from Tortuga island and it leaded her there. Unfortunately, Blue lost the track so they didn’t know exactly where the objects were being transported to. There was a team already camping on the forest and they would join them. The ship would depart in three days’ time. Three days… that was the time she had left of calm herself before the storm. ‘This ends now!’ she tried to convince herself that she had made the right choice. 

After supper, Emma said goodbye to Killian and went to her room. Finally, she was in a relationship with her best friend and all she wanted to do was to be with him in the little time they had before the big battle. She tried to sleep, she tried to convince herself that it wouldn’t be proper to go after him. In the end, her heart won. Closing her eyes, she focused her mind in Killian and did something that she was terrible at: She magically transported herself. 

“Emma!” Killian has been obviously frightened by her sudden appearance. He was on his feet at the bottom of his bed with a cutlass on his hand before he even registered who the invader was. 

“Very impressive, Lieutenant! Now, if you could agree to not cut my head off, I would like to spend some quality time with my suitor.” 

“You almost gave me a heart attack, Swan.” 

“Ok, if my presence is unwanted, I should go.” She said flirtatiously, pretending to go to the door. 

Killian ran to her, and hugged her by her back. Enveloping her waist with his arms, he lifted and spin her saying: “Oh no, Little Princess. You are my prisoner now.” 

Her giggle was so girlish, that she barely could believe that the sound came from her own mouth. Killian kissed her then. The kiss started playful, but soon it became charged with their desire and their longing. 

Emma broke the kiss to remove Killian’s shirt. Slowly, she revealed his naked form. His abbs were toned and smooth. His chest was well defined and covered in the most delicious amount of hair. She put one hand in his chest and the other she use to feel the toned muscles of his back. He was so gorgeous that she almost wanted to cry.  

Her gaze followed up his torso to his delicious neck. She kissed every freckle she found there. “You are so incredibly handsome…”, she said, biting the lobe of his ear. His eyes were closed when he hugged her closer to him and his right hand started wondering through her upper body. He used his hand to bring her mouth to his. The kiss was slow and sensual. His hand descended to her chin, her neck, the middle of her breasts, her stomach. Then he brought his hand back up, very slowly, tracing the path of her hips, her waist, her ribs, and finally, the side of her breast. The heat exploded in the bottom of her belly. She could feel her sex responding to his touch. The goosebumps covered her body as Killian touched her breast with the lightest of touches. 

“Bring me to bed, Killian.” She plead. 

“Are you sure, Emma?” He said, looking seriously into her eyes, with his hand still in her breast. 

“I was never more certain of anything in my life.” She sealed her statement with a languid kiss. The sound he made went directly to her groins, making her burn inside and her heart beat impossibly fast.

He picked her up with so much easy, that her heart almost stopped from the erotic contrast of his delicate touch and his impressive demonstration of physical strength. 

In bed they started to take off each other’s clothes with care and reverence. Each caress was tender and meaningful. When they were bare, they took some minutes kissing each other and revel in the sensation of being in the other’s arms without any barriers. Given their history, nothing felt righter than being bare of clothes, armors, walls, lies. Two souls and bodies open to one another. They worshiped each other until the need to finally come together was unbearable. 

Looking deeply into her eyes, Killian aligned himself with her. They kept their eyes locked while he buried himself within her, only closing their eyes when his was almost enterally inside of her, the intensity of the pleasure reigning over their will. They moaned in unison when they came together.  

“Emma, you feel so good” 

“I wanna you inside of me forever, Kil…” 

Their love making was languid an intense. They put all their love in each touch. Killian caressed Emma with such passion that she felt his tenderness being printed in her body. Each time he thrusted in her, he grounded in her clit in the most pleasurable way. Emma’s climax was so strong that she lost all coherent thought for a moment. Fortunately, she was back to see Killian falling. His eyes closed, brown frowned and mouth slightly open in a silent cry of pleasure. The image was so erotic that she felt her pleasure building like a tingled pain in her clit, and she fell from the edge again right after him. 

When she regained her senses, she looked at him and panting she said, “I never knew it could be this good. I love you so much Killian” 

“I never knew it could be this good either, but I always knew that it would be spectacular with you, my Swan.” 

Emma kissed him then. Which started as a chaste kiss, became a heated and sensual one. Emma noticed that he was hard and ready again. In a bold movement, she took him in her hands and things escalated. The night passed with they alternating between making love and sleeping in each other’s arms. 

The two of them never were that happy. Emma decided then and there that she never again would spend a night away from him, even if that meant that she would have to join the navy herself.  

In three days their journey would begin. Emma was still frightened (who wouldn’t be?), but she was ready.

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

Three days later they Emma was ready for their departure, ready to meet her destiny. 

Killian and She have taken advantage of that time to explore their new relationship. They took long walks in the castle gardens, stargazed in the nights and shared secrets and kisses under the moonlight. Emma was never so happy in her life, even the eminent peril of their mission could not diminish her happiness. 

Joining them on the journey to find the Evil Queen were Ruby (who as a werewolf was very useful in tracking), Grumpy, The Blue fairy, Gemini Cricket (who was a great strategist) and the crew of The Jewel of The Realm. Killian would be the acting captain again for the journey. 

The princess stood on the dock, contemplating the ship, while her journey companions embarked.  

She was so lost in thoughts that she didn’t hear her mother approaching her until Snow spoke in a low voice intended to Emma’s ears only, “Are you sure you are ready for this, Darling?” 

“Yes, Mom, I am. I feel that since we learnt about Regina’s threat, my life has been spent waiting for the moment when everything would go south. I am really glad to know that the wait is over. I feel that I finally can stop acting like I have no power over my own destiny. I am really excited to finally be out there, you know?” 

“Yes, I do, Emma. Let’s go, then. Let’s end this!” The two of them embarked side by side. A sense of mutual respect and admiration filling both of their hearts.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------

 

Emma had never traveled in a military ship before. It was fascinating to experience the journey in a vessel as fast as the ‘Jewel of the Realm’. Feeling the blow of the wind in her face and see the trail the ship left in the water behind made her feel freer than she ever had. Watching the night sky on the deck she almost could forget that she had all the responsibilities of being the crown princess and the savior. 

The first week was very peaceful. They didn’t have any new information, so they didn’t talk much about Regina or her curse. It was like some kind of vacation. She spent her time enjoying Killian’s company or talking to Ruby and her mother. 

Nine days after their departure, Blue had transported herself to the island to obtain more information. She came back agitated and asked for an official meeting. Once they were all gathered in the captain’s quarters, Blue gave her report: 

“I have been talking to one of the Evil Queen’s guards. He is a gentle soul and he is on our side. Until now, he didn’t have anything really useful to report, but today he came to me very worried. 

“It seems that Regina is finally ready to enact her curse. The Black Guard said to me that she was very happy after receiving an object earlier today. She asked a bunch of guards to start moving all of her special ingredients and some other magical objects to a cave where she will activate them.” Blue said gravely. 

“Oh my god, we have to stop her now! Blue, we were trying to be discrete but now we don’t have time. You have to transport us to this cave right now!” Emma pleaded. 

“I can’t do this. As an additional protection, Regina has casted a spell that made impossible to magically transport anything or anyone to the island.” 

“So that’s it? We don’t have any options?” Snow asked. 

“The only option left is to kill Regina…” Ruby said. 

“If we can even make the decision to kill her once we are under the curse’s effect”, Killian added. 

Blue made a gesture asking for silence, then she spoke, “Stop panicking before you have all the facts. Curses aren’t as simple to cast as you all seem to think. They need preparation.” She said looking at Emma a little disappointedly, “This curse in particular will need incantations that will take three days to be made. This is not a lot of time, but it is possible that we could make our way to the cave before Regina has had time to complete the process.” 

“How much time until we make shore, Killian?” Emma asked. 

“In full speed we can make port tomorrow morning.” 

“Our informant will be waiting for us there. I will send him a signal when the meeting is over.” Blue informed them.“He already agreed upon guiding us to the cave. Princess, I suggest that you take the time we have left to concentrate, there will be no room to fails, but I would advise you to not practice your magic. Regina must already have sensed my presence, we can’t risk her discovering that you are here too, Emma. It could jeopardize the whole mission.” 

“You can rest assured, Blue. I am ready!” There was conviction on the Princess voice. “I won’t let anything bad happen to my people.”

 

\---------------------------------------------------------

 

They made shore early in the next morning. Emma could feel her heart beating in her throat, her palms were sweaty and it was very hard to make her hands not shake visibly.

“Are you alright, darling?” her mother asked her with concern. 

“Yes, mom. Don’t worry, I am ready.” 

“I know you are, Honey.” Killian was maintaining his distance. Emma could see how terrified he was. It was endearing to know that the man who could put his own life at peril in a blink of an eye, without giving it a second thought, could be so nervous just because she was risking herself. ‘Serves him right for making me so worried for three years’ she thought. 

Blue was out to retrieve the Black Guard that would help them. The rest of their party was left behind in the Jewel of the Realm, they thought that in a small group they would have a better chance of getting to the cave inconspicuously. 

They were waiting for about thirty minutes, when they heard sounds that indicate someone was approaching. They all got ready for a fight, Emma preparing to use her magic while Killian drew his sword and Snow her arrow and bow.  Fighting wasn’t necessary, though, because it was Blue who appeared from the edge of the forest. 

“It’s good to see that you are all in guard, but it is only me… Well, not only me, me and our friend.” Blue said. 

Only them they noticed a figure appearing by Blue’s side. He moved so silently that they would never have seeing him coming if he didn’t wish them to. He was tall, had an unruly brown hair that was gray in the sides of his head. He was strong and well build, seeming to be in great shape. If Emma would guess, he was just a little older than her parents. 

“This is the Black Guard that I told you about…” Blue begun to speak, but she was abruptly cut by Snows voice. 

“Oh my God, I know you! You are The Hunter!” Snow squeaked.  

“Snow, I am so glad to see you! I have always been happy to know that you found your happy ending.” Said the stranger. 

“I can’t believe it is you! Why are you working for Regina?” Snow asked. “I thought that you had run from her once you saved me.” 

“No, I couldn’t. She would have found me and I had a deal with her to save the pack of wolves that raised me, they were my family and if I had run from her, they would be punished.” The Hunter responded. “I returned with the heart of a deer. I pretended it was your heart but the Evil Queen saw right through it immediately. From then on, I’ve been her slave, her pet.” 

“I am so sorry…” Snow said sadly. 

“The Hunter?! You are the hunter who saved my mother’s life right before she ran from Regina?” Emma was astonished from the turn of events. 

“So, you are princess Emma?” The Hunter asked. “I heard so much of you. The Evil Queen seems to think that you are a formidable threat… Seeing you I can definitely see why.” He took Emma’s hand and planted a kiss in it. Killian was obviously very disturbed by the action and Emma could see why, the Hunter was a bit old, but he was very charming still (and obviously very interested). It didn’t matter to her though, she only had eyes for her charming sailor. 

“It is so good to see you. Knowing you are the guard that Blue told us about put me on easy.” Snow said, trying to dissolve the tension. 

“Well, I know that you saved Queen Snow’s life, and I am profoundly grateful for that, but I am still not convinced that we should trust an almost strange…” Killian said. 

“Killian!!!” Snow exclaimed, “The Hunter saved my life putting his own life at risk when he didn’t even know me! He is a good and brave man and I trust him implicitly!” 

“With all due respect, Your Majesty, you haven’t seen this hunter since before I was born, I don’t think you know him that well…” Killian replied. 

“Young man, I can assure you that my intentions are pure. I have been dedicating myself to help Queen Snow since I first encountered the Blue fairy. It had been over two decades since I had a purpose that made my life worth living, this is what I’ve been looking for all this time. I appreciate the fact that you are trying to protect the Queen and the Princess, but I swear to you all that I just want to help.” 

“I’m afraid we will need more than that…” Killian begun to say, but Emma interrupted him. 

“Enough, Killian! Blue and my Mother know and trust the Hunter, so I trust him too. We shouldn’t be wasting time fighting between us. We have to put a stop to Regina’s plans” 

“But, Emma, I really don’t think it’s wise to go on with this plan before we are absolutely sure that this Hunter isn’t leading us to our doom!” 

Emma was very offended by the proportion that Killian’s jealously was taking. Didn’t he trust her?

“I said that me and my mother, The Queen, are satisfied with this plan, Lieutenant! This discussion is closed” She said in an authoritative voice. Emma loved Killian very much, but she would never tolerate such a display of jealousy. Not even Neal has put such a tantrum against Killian, and Neal at least would have had a cause for it. 

“I ask forgiveness for my behavior, Princess. This Lieutenant won’t intrude in your royal affairs any longer.” 

She could see the she has hurt him and she felt it heavy on her stomach. She tried to reach for his hand, but he pulled it back from her. ‘Fine’, she thought, ‘I’m not in the wrong here’.

After the little disagreement, they followed The Hunter through a trail that would lead them to the cave. As Killian was giving her the cold shoulder, Emma decided to provoke him by talking to the Hunter,

“So, you are the Hunter… doesn’t you have a name?” 

“No, princess… I was raised by wolves, so I don’t have a name. As I grew up the people from the village near the forest were my pack lived started to address me as ‘The Hunter’.” 

“It must be fascinating being raise by wolves. One day you will have to introduce me to them. After all you will be a free man once we defeat Regina!” 

“Yes, that I will be… And I would love to show them to you.” He said flirtatiously. 

‘Ok, that went to far’, Emma thought. Looking back to Killian, she could see that he to had noticed the flirting tone in the Hunter’s voice. She tried to catch his gaze, but he was clearly avoiding her. “Well, I think you will be much more willing to show things for our friend Red, you will find her fascinating: she is a werewolf.” Emma said, deflecting his attentions. 

“Oh, but I doubt that she can be more fascinating than you.” 

“Well, she is single. I think this alone should make her more fascinating for you, don’t you think?” Killian entered the conversation.

“I don’t see a ring in the Princess finger. That indicates to me that she is not unavailable.” The Hunter retorted. 

That was it, Emma was pissed by Killian’s jealousy, but she was not about to hurt his feelings just to prove a point. “Actually, I am very much unavailable. I am in a relationship with the love of my life, and I wouldn’t trade him for anything in this world”.

This time, when Emma reached to his hand he took it. The thankful smile he gave her (in which it was clearly written his apologies) made her heart flutter.  

“Ok, message received.” 

After that little bump, the group focused its attention on the path and on the imminent battle. They have walked for four and a half hours without stop, when they finally could see the cave above the trees that surrounded them. 

“We should stop now to discuss our plans. We should reach the entrance of the cave in half an hour.” The Hunter said. 

“I think Snow and Emma should enter the cave while I, Killian and the Hunter make lookout.” Blue stated. 

“I will go in with them.” Killian retorted. 

“I don’t think…” Blue started, but Killian interrupted her. 

“I have all the faith in the world in Emma and Snow’s abilities, but I have been in the battle field and they don’t. There might be Black Guards in there. I’m going.” He said, leaving no room to questions. 

“That’s it, then. Let’s go.” Emma said.

 

\--------------------------------------------------  

 

The three of them entered the cave prepared to fight the evil queen and her guards, but the only thing surrounding them was darkness. Emma lifted her hand to produce a source of light, but nothing happened.

“Something is wrong, my magic isn’t working.” 

“Get out of here then, Swan. We will find the Evil Queen, but you shouldn’t risk yourself, love.” Killian said, sounding really worried. 

“There’s no way I leaving you here. Let’s go.” Emma retorted, walking deeper into the cave. 

“Emma, I have a bad feeling about this. If Regina casted a spell to block your magic, she must be prepared for you being here. Please, Swan, don’t walk into the Evil Queen’s trap!”, Killian said. 

“Emma, I think Killian is right.”, Snow agreed. 

“Regina will cast the curse anytime! There is no way I am giving up; this discussion ends now!”, Emma stated firmly.  

“As you wish.” She could see the effort he was making to not argue further, and was grateful for it. She wouldn’t back down now. 

They silently walked through the cave, attentively listening for any noise that would indicate the direction of where the Evil Queen was preparing her curse. Suddenly, there was a deafening sound. Emma reached out to grab Killian’s hand, but found no one in the place where Killian was just a second before. 

“Killian!”, She shouted, no longer concerned about staying quiet, “Killian, where are you?” 

“Oh, look what we have here, if it isn’t the little girl princess who call herself ‘Savior’”, Emma heard a mocking feminine voice. She knew instantly whom the voice belonged to. 

“Give my sailor back, Regina!”, Emma screamed to the approximate direction the voice had came from. Emma could hear Killian struggling and trying to escape. Not seeing what was happening was unnerving her. 

“Regina is a bit informal, don’t you think? It is ‘Your Majesty’ to you! After all I am the true ruler of the kingdom you and your family are usurping!” 

“Let Killian go!”, Emma ordered. Snow was silent by her side, obviously trying to figure a plan out.  

“Swan, Snow, don’t worry about me. Just run away from here!” 

“Swan?” Regina said in a mocking tone, “You are more like an ugly duck. You may have magic, but you are weak and unprepared.” Regina was hissing the words, “You dared to come after me, and for that your lover boy is going to die.” Laughing maliciously, Regina added, “Say goodbye to your princess, little sailor”. 

“No!”, Emma screamed, focusing all of her will to make her magic work. 

A baby blue light started to shine from Emma’s hands, and she could feel her magic coming back. Lifting her hands, Emma illuminated the cave so she could see where Killian was so she could retrieve him.  In the moment that Emma’s magic was activated, the whole cave begun to shake. A baby-blue smoke appeared on the ground and spread through the cave. 

“What is happening? Regina, what did you do?” Emma said, looking around her. “This is my magic, but I did nothing!” 

The malevolent chuckle Emma heard next made her blood run cold. 

“Of course you did, little princess. You did exactly what you had to do, my little puppet.”, Regina hissed.  

Emma could see her now. She was standing tall and proud in a very tight and exuberant purple dress, she was still a very beautiful woman and wore with dignity her grey hair. The sight of the evil queen made a shiver run down Emma spine, she could feel the dark magic that ran through Regina’s veins in a similar manner of what she felt when she was in the Dark One’s presence.   

“What?!” Emma asked. 

“You activated the curse for me. You were the last element I needed, and you were the one who activated the curse when you evoked your magic.” 

“No, it isn’t possible…” Emma, tried to say, but she could feel that Regina was telling the truth. 

“Well, it took me some time to come up with this plan.”, Regina said proudly, “No matter how hard I looked, I couldn’t find any object who strongly represented a powerful choice made by someone of your family. Not anything as powerful as that Crown that your pathetic sailor took from my soldiers. But eventually, I realized _you_ would do the part well enough.” 

“What the bloody hell are you talking about?”, Asked Killian. 

Ignoring him, the Evil Queen continued her speech, “Let me tell you a story, Emma. A long time ago, before you were born, your mother and father went on a journey to discover a way to prevent me from cast the Dark Curse.” Turning to Snow, Regina asked, “Should I continue, dear _Snow_? Or would you prefer to tell you perfect pure angel of a daughter what the _Charmings_ did to her?” 

All the blood left Snow’s face, she looked as if she was petrified. 

“Well, it seems I will do the honors.” Regina continued. 

Emma and Killian looked at each other without knowing what to think when Snow spoked, “Stop, Regina. I’ll tell her.” 

All faces turned to Snow as she began her tale, “Emma, darling, please forgive for what I am about to tell you…”, swallowing hard, Snow continued before Emma could answer her, “Right after I learned that I was pregnant with you, Emma, your father and I went in a mission with Maleficent and two other witches to discover how to stop Regina’s plans for destroying all the happy endings.” 

“You went on a mission with Maleficent?” Emma couldn’t believe her ears. 

“Yes, Darling, I and your father were desperate, we didn’t know what else to do.” Snow said looking anywhere but Emma. “But the journey was in vain, we did not obtain the answers we were looking for. We discovered that we couldn’t have the answer because the magic source only answered to heroes. As I was pregnant with you, and there was no certainty that you would be a hero, the magic could not be activated by us. 

“I became obsessed with the thought of you becoming dark, so your father and I located a unicorn so we could see your future. Even then, we did not receive an answer, because each of us saw a different future for you. 

“On our way back to the castle, we crossed paths with a powerful wizard. He told us that we saw two different futures for you because you had the potential for both, and any of the visions could become true. He also said that there was a way to prevent you from become dark in the future: To take all the darkness off of you and transfer to another baby.” 

Taking two steps back and bringing both hands to her mouth, Emma whispered, “You didn’t, did you? Tell me you didn’t do it!” 

“Emma… Honey, I and your father would never consider doing it… but…” Snow White sighed before she continued, “earlier that day we had heard that Maleficent, in her dragon form, had laid an egg… We thought that what would eventually hatch from that egg… would not be human. So we took Maleficent’s egg and we put your potential for darkness in it.” 

“What about the egg?”, Emma asked sternly. 

“It… It hatched when the magic was done. The wizard sent it through a portal to another Realm… He said this kind of darkness could not be present in our world. We didn’t know he was planning to do that, we were planning in giving the egg back to Maleficent, Emma.”, Snow sounded as if she was about to cry, “You have to believe me, Emma, we were not planning on separating a mother and her child!” 

Shock and disappointment were evident in Killian’s face, while Regina seemed very pleased with the turn of events. Emma was disappointed, yes, but above all she was angry. How could her parents, her loving and kind parents, do something as sordid as that? How did they dare to call themselves heroes? 

“There is one more thing, Emma. When the egg hatched… there was… there was a baby inside.” Snow was crying now. 

The rage exploded inside of Emma, she was so mad that it was difficult to control her magic. “How dare you! You two changed me, changed my fate. You orphaned a kid! How dare you act like you are heroes all this time? You two are monsters!” She was crying in her rage, her voice high pitched in her fury. 

“Swan.” Killian called. As she didn’t respond, he tried again louder, “Swan!” 

Killian’s cry broke through her emotions. When she finally looked at him, he continued, “Swan, as much as I comprehend your feelings, we have more pressing matters at this moment! The curse has been enacted. We have to stop the curse before it’s too late!” 

Emma knew he was right, but before she could think about how to proceed, Regina spoke again. “I am glad someone remembered my curse. I thought you were forgetting why you were here in the first place. As I was saying, I came to realize that you, princess, were the object that could replace the crown. While the crown represented a noble choice that changed the fate of the Royal family, you, little duck, represents the very selfish choice that also changed destiny. 

“All I had to do was to make you come into this cave, where all the other ingredients were reunited and the spells executed, and make a big effort to raze your magic - a simple magic blocking spell, to make more difficult to you to enact your magic, and the motivation provided by taking this sailor from you, did the trick.” After a pause, Regina added, “Don’t be mad with The Hunter, by the way. He dragged you here on my orders, of course, but he didn’t have a choice… You see, I have his heart.” 

“Why did you needed me to do your dirty work, Regina? Aren’t you powerful enough?” Emma taunted, hoping to provoke Regina into revealing something that could help them to stop the curse. 

“Oh, Duck Princess, I had a very good reason to make you enact the curse. You see, I wasn’t the one to enact the curse, so if you were planning to kill me to stop the curse, this plan no longer makes sense. The one who would have to be killed to break the curse is you, _princess_.” 

“If you think we won’t find other way, you are wrong! Emma is the savior, we will break the curse!” Killian said vehemently. 

“Oh, I am counting on it, sailor.” Regina had a very large grin in her face.

Snow, Emma and Killian looked at each other, all of them seemed equally stunned. “What?!” Emma and Killian asked at the same time. 

“You see, I want my revenge very much. But, after my father died, about ten years ago, something changed in me. I don’t pride myself in admitting, but I was very lonely. Having no one is harder than I had predicted.”, Regina said. “So, I thought about a way to have everything: my revenge and company. I was already planning in executing the golden apple curse, but aside from that, I started to research a way to find the person that was once predicted to be my true love.” 

Emma and Killian looked at each other in disbelief, the second abrupt turn of events leaving them almost dizzy.

“What your ‘journey to find true love’ has to do to us, Regina?” Emma said exasperatedly. 

“It has everything! Now, just listen in silence the rest of my plans.”, Regina said, irritated by the interruption. “As I was saying, I did some research and discovered that if I had someone’s true love given to me willingly, I could use it to make a locator potion to find my own true love. 

“But isn’t easy to make someone give you their true love. You see, when someone loses true love, all the memories of said true love are erased and the person cease to be who she was (as I am sure your mother had said to you from her own experience).

“Well, I thought: what better way take my revenge than taking away from Snow White her perfect and only daughter?” Regina was looking intensely at Emma’s eyes as she proceeded, “By taking your own true love, Princess, I will destroy you and your parents in the process. You see, there will be no recovering for you, Savior, because beside your pathetic sailor, today you already lost your respect and admiration to your parents. Believe me, every pain is much worse and darker with the whole left from a lost love. You will be lost in your newfound darkness and your parents’ greatest sin will have been for nothing.” 

“And why on earth you would think that I would give up my love for Killian? And to help you no less!” Emma asked incredulously. 

“Oh, because you are the savior, it is your destiny to stop my curse, and I am offering you a deal.” The Evil Queen said, with a malevolent glint in her eyes, “I will let you in a little secret: One of the ingredients to this curse is hairs from three witches (as I am sure you already knew), one of the witches is me – the other two are already dead (I was almost sad to have to kill them). 

“One particularity of this curse is that the witches from whom the hairs were extracted have the power to stop the curse. So, my deal is, Savior, give me your true love and I’ll stop the curse. If you refuse, you will see all your precious people succumb to the curse and I get my revenge either way. So, what is going to be, Savior?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it! Thank you for reading.


	8. Chapter 8

 

 

“So, dear little princess, my precious time is passing. What will it be, you will give me your love, or you will let my curse destroy the Realm?”

Emma knew what she had to do. There was no other option, she had put herself first the last time she faced such a choice, she had chosen her love over the best chance for her people. Now she had to choose her people, she had no option, she was their savior. 

“Don’t do this, Emma, we will find another way. We always do.”, said Snow. 

“Another way? Like you did when you condemned a child to live homeless and with my darkness in it? You don’t get a saying in this, Queen Snow White!” Emma cried. 

“Emma, I know you are furious and rightly so. But listen to me, you will not only be sacrificing you love, you will be sacrificing yourself. I know you are worried about our people, but if you do this you will leave them without a savior, without a kind and just heir to the throne.” Snow pleaded. 

“I won’t be as selfish as you were, Queen Snow. I will do the right thing!” Emma said. 

“Swan, please, don’t do this! We will find another way. It is your destiny to do this. We will succeed together! Please don’t give up on us, don’t give up on yourself, love!” 

Hearing Killian made her heart drop in her chest. She would cause him so much pain. She hated herself for that, but she didn’t have another option. 

“I’m so sorry, Killian. I love you so much! I would give anything to have a future with you, but I can’t. I have to take the deal.” 

“No! Please Emma, don’t! I am begging you, don’t do this, Swan!” 

Ignoring him, she talked to Regina, “We have a deal. I will willingly give my true love to you and you will break the curse.” 

“It will be my pleasure. Say goodbye to the sailor, Princess.”, Regina said gleefully, a maniac grin in her face. 

Emma looked at Killian one last time. God, he was painfully handsome, his saddened expression only enhancing his beauty. She revisited her memories of him. What would be left of her without his comprehension, his compassion, his care? What would be left of her without his piercing blue eyes, without his warm embrace? Her tears wet her face before she even noticed that they were falling. When the pain became unbearably intense, Emma averted her eyes and looked at the object in Regina’s hands instead. It was a small purple bottle. 

“Good bye, Princess Emma _Swan_ ” Regina said while moving one hand over the magic object, activating it. 

“No!”, Snow cried. 

A deep purple cloud of magic came out of the little bottle and moved fast in Emma’s direction. She closed her eyes, reviving the faster she could the most important memories she had with Killian. She tried with all of her being to hold to the memory of their first kiss, maybe if she tried very hard she could preserve a little bit of a memory of him. A pale ghost of a distant memory would be enough at that point. She felt like her chest was being ripped apart with the devastating prospect of no longer knowing and loving Killian.   

“No! How dare you!”, Emma heard Regina saying.  

She opened her eyes, but the purple cloud of magic was no longer going her way. Relief filled her heart, apparently Regina’s magic had failed. But them, Emma saw it. Killian was lying on the ground. She ran to him, “Killian! Killian, what happened?” 

“What happened is that this good for nothing sailor jumped in front of my magic!” Regina said bitterly.

“Well, this doesn’t matter! The important thing is that I have someone’s true love. Our deal is off, the true love I got wasn’t yours, Princess, my curse will stay in place.” After her speech, Regina disappeared in a cloud of purple smoke.

Emma kneeled in front of an unconscious Killian and called softly for him, “Kil, Kil wake up!”

Dread filled her heart when his eyelids started to flutter. She braced herself for the lack of love she would see in his eyes. The bluest of the eyes made contact with hers but they did not linger. Killian sat up without sparing her a second look. It was like a thorn in her heart. 

“Where am I?” Killian asked. His voice was deeper and huskier. His facial expression was hard and closed off with a hint of bravado. The way he held his facial muscles made him almost look as another person. 

“Killian.”, Emma called in a small voice. “Do you remember me?” 

Killian looked at her from the bottom to the top. His expression dirty and full of lust. “Oh, I definitely never met you, I would never forget such a delicious little thing like yourself, love.”, He licked his inferior lip almost obscenely before he spoke again, “But it would certainly be my…. Pleasure to get to know you… intimately.” He looked at her like she was naked, Emma actually blushed of embarrassment just by his look. 

“Killian!” Snow squeaked, shocked with Killian’s behavior. 

Killian looked at Snow for the first time. His expression turned into shock, then rage and finally into defiance, “Well, well, Your Majesty, I can see now why I was unconscious in an unknown location! Are you here to arrest me, Queen Snow?” 

“You remember my mother!”, Emma said at the same time as Snow spoke.

“What? Arrest you? What are you talking about, Killian?” Snow was perplexed. 

“Oh, am I Killian now? What game are you playing? You expect that if you treat me like an old friend I will surrender pacifically? So you can throw me in a dungeon to rot? You are out of your bloody mind if you think I won’t fight for my freedom, _Your Majesty_.” 

“Fight for your freedom? Killian, I don’t want to arrest you! You are our friend! You are our personal friend and you are a friend of the Crown! You are the best lieutenant the I ever heard of and you are a hero!” 

“Lieutenant?! What have you drunk, Your Majesty? I never reached the rank of Lieutenant! And I certainly won’t fall for your tricks, don’t you underestimate me!” 

“Killian, what the hell are you talking about?” Emma asked concerned, things appeared to be even worse than she thought they would be, “You are a Lieutenant right now! You are in your way to be the captain” 

“Oh, love, you have to check your facts, I am already the captain, I have been for quite some time, actually.” 

“Oh, in a manner of speaking, yes, you have been the acting captain of the Jewel of the Realm...” Emma was saying, but she was interrupted by an enraged Killian. 

“She is not ‘The Jewel of the Realm’ anymore, don’t insult my ship! She is ‘The Jolly Roger’!” 

“What? Since when?” Snow asked flabbergasted. 

“Are you kidding me?” Killian asked exasperatedly, “She has been ‘The Jolly Roger’ since I became a Pirate and took her from the kingdom!” 

“A Pirate?” Emma and Snow asked at the same time. 

“Are you trying to toy with me? Queen Snow, the realm has been looking for me for years, now! You have been trying to take The Jolly Roger from me for a long time, and now you pretend like it is news to you?! What kind of sick game are you playing?” 

Emma was thinking fast. When her mother had forgotten her father, she had not remembered her life history any differently. On the other hand, her mother had known her father for only a few months at the time, when Killian has known Emma for all his life, maybe he remembered his life the way it would have been if Emma wasn’t in it.  

To gain more information, Emma asked him, “Years? Since when are you a pirate, Killian?” 

“I am not Killian to you! Very few has the privilege of calling me by my given name. You will refer to me as ‘Captain’”, The dangerous look he gave her was definitely something that would never have passed in her Killian’s face. “And who the hell are you?”, he asked. 

“I am princess Emma. Now, please, answer my question. Since when are you a pirate?” 

“Well, _Your Highness_ ,”, Killian said it as if her title was dirty in his mouth, “I have been a pirate for two years now. I took the Jolly Roger and swore to never fight in wars where we are treated like pons for your kind in the day that my brother was taken from me.” 

A deep silence filled the cave. No one knew what to say after that. Emma wanted to comfort him, but she didn’t know what to say to this ‘Pirate Killian’. 

“If that is enough to satisfy your curiosity, I think I am going now.” He said, preparing to leave. 

“No! You can’t leave!” Emma couldn’t let him leave, she could not lose him. 

“Oh, I want to see who will stop me.” He mocked. 

“Aren’t you curious about how you got here? Don’t you wanna know what happened?” Emma was desperately trying to make him stay. 

“No, I’m not. Probably I was too drunk when you two brought me here. It must have been the rum.” He shrugged indifferently. 

“You? Drunk?”, Snow was shocked by the idea. 

“Aye. Very bad form indeed.” Killian said flirtatiously. 

“I don’t buy it!” Emma said, “I know you, Killian. You know that something isn’t right. You are not a coward, you do not run from the unknown. I know you want to get to the bottle of this.” 

“OK, let’s pretend that you are right, Princess. Let’s say that I am curious to know what is happening here. Enlighten me, then, what is happening here and why should I stay?” 

Emma didn’t know what to say, he would never believe if she told him that he was in love with her and that he had never been a pirate. In the other hand, she had never lied to him before, their relationship was based on honesty and trust and she wasn’t about to change that. 

“Well,”, Emma began, “What I have to say will not be easy to swallow. So I will start with the reasons you have to not to leave.” Looking deeply in his eyes, she proceeded, “We have your ship. She is in our power and you are alone, the crew aboard the ship is at my mother’s service.” 

“What?!”, Killian was absolutely enraged, “How dare you take my ship? What did you do with my crew?”

Emma continued to speak as if he hadn’t spoke, “Your memories were altered by the Evil Queen’s magic, you never took the ‘Jewel of the Realm’ from my family.”, With a sign to indicate that she was not finished, Emma said, “I have magic”, she made a ball of fire appear in her hand, “and you are unarmed.” 

“Ok, princess, you have my undivided attention. What do you want from me?”, Killian said angrily. 

“Killian, we have known each other since we were five years old. I know you don’t remember that, but it is true. You have been my best friend since I can remember. We love each other very much. You are my true love. We are uterly in love with each other.” 

“You are crazy! Or a liar! Or both!”, Killian said, “I would never fall in love with royalty! And I would remember if I knew you!”

“You had your love stolen by Regina, that is why you don’t remember me! But we are in love and you are a Lieutenant in my mother’s navy!” 

“I don’t believe you! And if I did, I wouldn’t care, I would think that the Evil Queen made me a favor making me forget of my cowardice!” 

“Cowardice?”, Snow asked. 

“Yes, my cowardice in fraternalizing with the enemy instead of avenging my brother!” Killian appeared to be unperturbed by Emma’s revelations. “I don’t care if you have my ship now, I will gather a new crew and I will take the Jolly Roger back. I won’t make any deal with the kinds of you!” Killian said turning around and preparing to leave. 

Not knowing what to do, Emma made a rock fly and hit Killian on the back of his head and he fell unconscious on the ground. 

“Well, then I guess we are kidnapping you”, Emma said. Snow looked as if she couldn’t decide if it was the best or the worst decision regarding the ‘pirate’. 

 

\------------------------------------------------------------ 

 

Snow and Emma made their way to the entrance of the cave with an unconscious Killian magically floating in front of them.  

At the end of the way was only Blue. She informed them that The Hunter had left some time after the curse was activated. They told Blue everything that had happened in the cave as they made their way to the Ship.  

The Blue Fairy, who usually was very secure and determined, was a little bit off, she seemed to be scared (Emma had never seen her like this) 

“Blue, what is happening? Are you scared?” Emma asked. 

“Oh, no, Emma. It is just the curse… When the curse was enacted, I had to decide if I should go after you, or if I should wait outside as was the original plan. I waited here… Now I keep seeing that I made the wrong choice… I could have saved Killian, I could have stopped Regina’s magic. Everything would be better if I had gone after you!” Blue said.

“Blue, you said so yourself, it is the curse! It wouldn’t have made a difference if you had entered the cave, you have to fight this feeling!”, Snow said. 

“This is not like that… I know it is not real, but I feel in my bones that it is. And who could tell, maybe it would have actually made all the difference in the world if I was there with you, it is possible that everything would be better now! It is logical that everything would be better! I am responsible for all this!” Blue was clearly desolated with guilt. 

“Emma, do you thing it is possible that everyone is affected by the curse except us that were inside the cave?” Snow asked. 

“I don’t know, it is possible… You and I seem fine, and Killian wasn’t acting like I would expect someone curded would act.” Emma answered.

“Could you teleport us to the ship?”

“I could try”, Emma said making a move with her hand and making all of them disappear in a cloud of baby-blue smoke. 

 

\--------------------------------------------------

 

In the ship, Emma tied Killian on the mast while Snow talked to the crew. 

“Emma, I have bad news… Everyone is acting cursedly! I don’t know if we will be able to get back home on this ship.”, Snow said. 

“Keep an eye on Killian, I will talk to them”, Emma said, leaving without waiting for Snow’s answer. 

Making her way to where the sailors were gathered, Emma spoke to the group, “Crew of the Jewel of the Realm. By my mother’s orders we are to departure right now. Let’s go back to the Capital”. 

Nobody moved, every sailor had a tortured expression on their faces. 

“Why aren’t you moving?” Emma asked exasperatedly. Nobody answered. “You,”, Emma pointed to one of the sailors, “Why aren’t you moving?” 

“Because, your highness, we don’t know what we should do. Who should be the acting captain now?” 

“Who were the second in command?”, Emma inquired.  

“I was, princess”, Smee spoked. 

“So you will be the acting captain. Now, let’s go home” 

“Wait a minute, I can’t do this!” Smee retorted, eyes large and face pale as if he has seen a terrifying ghost. 

“Why the hell not?”, Emma’s patience was running thin. 

“Which way should we pick?”, Smee was seeming on the verge of a breakdown. 

“Take the fastest one” Emma answered. 

“Which sails should I use?” 

“How should I know that? Use all of them, I don’t care!” Emma was absolutely frustrated. After the hell that was her day she was not able to deal with this. 

“This doesn’t make any sense, your Highness…” Smee spoke timidly. 

“Emma, we need someone who know how to sail a ship to give the orders.” Snow stated. 

“Killian…”, Emma whispered. 

 

\-------------------------------------------------- 

 

Standing in front of Killian, Emma used her magic to wake him up. 

“Killian, wake up… we have to talk.”, She said gently. 

“Bloody hell, princess, you knocked me out again?” Killian said. When he tried to move, he noticed that he was tied up. “What do you think you are doing? Release me now!”

“Killian, I cannot untie you. At least not until we make a deal.” Emma said firmly. 

“Princess, I already said that I don’t want to make deals with you or your family! But if you want to _play_ with me all tied up I should say that I could agree with that – even though I normally prefer to be the one untied.” He said with a very dirty look in his face. 

“Oh my god, Killian, I am serious right now! We need your help to get back home. We are in a cursed land where no one besides you, me and my mother can make any decision! It is not a time to play around!” Emma said in a commanding voice. 

“How the hell something like that could happen?”, He asked. 

“It was a curse that the Evil Queen casted, well, actually I casted, but I didn’t mean to… It was a curse that Regina tricked me into casting” 

Killian seemed mildly confused and very bored. “I don’t see how any of this is my problem. I don’t care about you or your family, I just want my ship back and to be away from all of you.” 

“I have a proposition for you,”, Emma started, “I will give you this ship…”

“Return my ship!”, Killian corrected her. 

“Right… I will ‘return’ your ship to you”, she continued, “If you use the ship to bring us back home and… and stay with us on the palace for one whole month, so I can try to make you fall in love with me again.” 

“Why should I stay a whole month with you, I can tell you right now that there is no way I will fall in love with you. You need me to sail the ship, I agree upon getting you home, but I will leave as soon as we get there.”, Killian said.

Emma knew that wasn’t really her Killian saying those words, but hearing them hurt her all the same. “Listen carefully, Killian Jones, I will not alter the terms of the deal! You will sail this ship back to the castle and you will stay for the whole month! If you don’t agree upon my terms I will magically transport everyone that is in this ship one by one and leave you here alone to die, even if I Kill myself trying to do it. Are. We. Clear?” 

“Oh, but I thought that you loved me?”, He retorted sarcastically. 

“I love my dear and sweet Lieutenant Killian Jones, I don’t love this rude pirate,”, Emma said pointing to him, “If I can’t have the chance to try to get my Lieutenant back, I don’t care about what will happen to you.” She lied hoping her bluff could make he agree with her terms.

“You are a tough lass, aren’t you”, Killian said amusedly.  

“You, have no idea, pirate.” Emma responded unimpressed.

“Ok, love. You have yourself a deal. I will sail the ship and I will stay. But at the end of this I will be sailing away with my Jolly Roger.”, Killian agreed. 

“We will see about that!” Emma said. Waving her hand, she released the pirate Killian, praying that she has made the right decision.

 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry about the delay.

The journey back home was unbearable. Emma couldn’t believe her eyes when she saw how completely apathetic everyone was. She almost cried when she saw Red wrapped in her red cloak with a terrified look in her face, unable to give an opinion when asked if they should contact her werewolf friends to see how they were coping with the curse.

“Well, based on the reaction of our dear she-wolf, I think we have our answer already.” Said the pirate Killian, all fake cheerfulness and sass.

“For the love of god, Killian, have some respect”, Emma said tiredly.

That was another thing that was unbearable to Emma: How insensitive and cruel this new Killian could be. She was trying her best to be patient with him and to not get in direct confrontation with the pirate. She knew that she had to make him fall in love with her, and hostility, anger and confrontation were not the way to get to anyone’s heart. But it was very difficult not to enter in a heated argument with this infuriating new version of Killian. 

Admittedly, she had succumbed to her temper a hand full of times.

Possibly the most disturbing thing was that while she ended those fights feeling absolutely enraged, Killian seemed to have the time of his life during their arguments – which infuriated her even more and enlarged his annoying smirk. 

Emma wasn’t talking to her mother about anything beyond the absolutely necessary. She couldn’t forgive her parents for the horrible thing they did to Maleficent’s child. The ache in her heart when she thought about her parents was deep and she felt empty inside. She no longer knew what place her parents should occupy in her heart.

The days of the journey back were the worst of her life since the early days of Killian’s departure.

After almost two weeks on the ship, Emma couldn’t decide if it was a good or a bad thing when they finally catch sight of the port. On one hand she wouldn’t be trapped in the ship in such a painful situation anymore, on the other hand she would be trapped in a cursed kingdom. The reality of this whole terrible situation would be more real once she was back on land.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------

 

Arriving back home was as hard as Emma had predicted. When they disembarked, only her father was waiting for them on the docks. It warmed Emma’s heart to see that her father was trying to fight the curse. He obviously was terrified, but he was showing his strength as well.

“There is chaos everywhere.” He said, “the people are frightened, they don’t know what to do… I am trying to help, but I must confess that knowing what is the right thing is becoming a hard task to me as well.”

Emma’s heart broke for her father, which was in conflict with her anger about the whole thing with Malefficent’s baby. The conflict in her emotions intensified her headache.

“We should go to the castle and reunite the council.” Snow said.

“Let’s do that.” Emma said.

“lead the way, love” The pirate agreed. 

In the way to the castle, Emma could see the effects the curse was having in her Kingdom. There was no one in the streets, the stores were empty, some of them were not even open. There was no child playing or running around. A sinister chill descended through Emma’s back.

“Please, let’s hurry up.” She said shivering.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

 

Emma and Snow reunited the members of the Royal Council in the great hall to evaluate the extension of their problems. 

The apathy that all of them demonstrated was surreal. All the strong and opiniated people that Emma had known all her life couldn’t take the punch to answer simple questions, to give almost harmless opinions. She was getting desperate. 

Killian hadn’t arrived yet and that was making her nervous. She didn’t know if she could trust this pirate Killian to keep his word and stay the whole month in the castle. For all she knew, this reunion was the opportunity he had been waiting to scape. Unable to contain her worries any longer, she asked, “Where’s Killian?”

From the doors of the hall behind her came his answer, “I’m right here, love.”

She turned around to look at him and say that he shouldn’t disappear for so long, but the word died in her mouth at the sight of him. Killian had changed his Navy uniform for a totally different outfit. His legs were clad in the tightest black leather pants, he had a black shirt on, buttoned barely above his navel, letting an indecent amount of his chest exposed (a sight that Emma wasn’t happy to share with the world), a red embroiled vest covered his shirt and completed his new visual. His eyes seemed to pop even more than they usually did and, before Emma could put her finger in what was different, she heard her father speaking.

“Are you wearing makeup?”

“I’m wearing kohl. I don’t see why this is important…” Killian answered.

“Why the hell are you dressed like that?” asked one of the dwarfs.

“Why the hell are you dressed like that?” Killian retorted in an offended tone.

“Killian is under the impression that he is a pirate.” Snow answered to Happy.

“I am a pirate!” Killian stated.

“Enough!” said Emma, “we have more pressing matters than Killian’s attire. We have a terrible curse to break and we don’t have a clue about what to do!”

The meeting proved to be an exercise of futility. Emma and Snow were the only ones disposed to give ideas or make decisions. The two of them deliberated that the council would not be reunited until the end of the curse. Until then, the Queen and Princess would give detailed orders about what should be done.

Emma tried to summon Rumpelstiltskin, but he didn’t appear. She didn’t know if it was because he was affected by the curse, or if it was because he was still mad about the end of her relationship with Neal.

Emma didn’t have any of her friends or her parents (her father cursed, her mother a stranger to her at the moment), she didn’t have the guidance of any of the experts in magic. Worst of all, she probably has lost Killian forever.

Emma was, for the first time in her life, absolutely alone.

 

\---------------------------------------------

One week after arriving back to the castle, Emma decided to go for a walk. She was absolutely frustrated with how things were progressing. 

No one of the cursed people were making decisions on their own. The worst part was that the instructions they were requiring to do the simplest of tasks were proving to be more ineffective with each passing day. Emma and Snow had to make the instructions more detailed and precise as the people were becoming even more insecure. Killian was reluctantly helping them to write and deliver the instructions. But not of what they did was enough. People all around the Realm were becoming incapable of doing their day-to-day work and the effects in the stocks of food and potions would come very soon.

Without knowing, Emma walked to the docks and found herself in the precise same spot were she first met Killian. She was lost in thoughts about that day so long ago, when she was startled by a voice behind her.

“What a surprise, your Highness, such a noble lady coming to the docks to mingle with the common people. What a strange thing!”

She recognized Killian’s voice immediately, even with his newfound sarcasm coloring his tone.

“Yes, yes, because I’m a spoiled princess who never gets anything done. Maybe I was bored with all he dresses and balls. Very funny, Captain.” Emma said angrily.

“Wow, I’m sorry, lass.” Killian said.

The sincerity in his tone made her look at him. She couldn’t deny, he was very attractive in this new attire, she would never admit it out loud, but he made a very sexy pirate. 

She looked in his eyes when he spoke again.

“I’m really sorry. I know you are not a spoiled princess. It is very brave what you are doing for your people. I may not like the concept of a Monarchy, but even I can admit that the people of this Realm are lucky to have you, Princess.”

She could see her Killian in the words and in the eyes of the pirate in that moment. For the first time in days, Emma felt hope. Maybe if she could make him kiss her in that moment, when he was more her Killian and less pirate…

“Well, maybe you should do something to earn my forgiveness…” Emma said, in a tone she hoped was full of seduction.

“That was what the ‘I’m sorry’ was about, lass.” Killian said sheepishly.

“Certainly the feelings of a lady has to worth more to you…” Emma said, baiting her eyelashes. 

“Please, your highness, you couldn’t handle it.” Killian said.

“Perhaps you are the one who couldn’t handle it.” Emma said, invading his personal space, holding his gaze, challenging him.

For a moment, Emma thought that he wouldn’t bait. She was about to take a step back when Killian put a hand at her lower back and pulled her until she crashed in his chest, his lips taking hers. It sent the familiar spur of pleasure through her body and she grabbed the back of his head, pulling him closer. The kiss was passion and fire, she molded her body to his and the perfection of their mouths together were indescribable. They opened their mouths to deepen the kiss at the same time. Killian’s taste in her mouth and the feeling of his body against her made all thoughts vanish from her mind. She wanted to climb him, to be under him, to be consumed by him. The kiss was desperate. It was somewhat alike their other kisses, but it was a little different… a little more dangerous somehow. Maybe it was the pirate thing…

Way to soon, Killian pulled back. He obviously still wanted to kiss her, because he didn’t retreat completely, his forehead was touching Emma’s and his hand was tangled in her hair in the back of her head. Emma tried to close the space between their lips one more time, but he pulled his mouth back, an almost imperceptible amount of space, only to communicate without words to her that he wasn’t consenting to another kiss. 

“That was…” Emma started to say with a breathless and totally wrecked voice, but Killian interrupted her.

“A one time thing…” He said pulling back. “This will never work, Princess, you should stop hoping. I will never be this lieutenant of yours.” As an afterthought, he added in a sad voice, “I am really sorry.”

It was almost as if he really wanted that the kiss has worked as much as Emma did. There was definitely sadness and longing in the pirate’s voice. 

Emma saw him going, his black leather covered form getting smaller in the distance. Only when he had vanished in the horizon, she let herself cry. For a moment, she believed that the kiss had worked. Maybe he was right, hope only increased her pain and now she was even more crushed than she was when she arrived at the docks.

 

\-----------------------------------------

 

Each day with the new pirate Killian was like sailing the sea, she always waked up without knowing if it would be a calm day, or if it would be storm and rage.

She needed desperately someone to talk about Killian who wasn’t her mother, because she was nowhere near to a place where she could forgive her. The problem was that Killian wasn’t her sole source of distress: the people around her were more closed off and frightened each passing day. There was no one to help her with any of her problems. She missed Killian so much, and not only as her lover, in that moment she missed her best friend more than anything.

It was a weird thing missing someone while he is literally right in front of you.

In that moment she was with the pirate in the library and they were in the middle of another argument because she couldn’t bear his new demenour.

“Are you listening to yourself? You know this people! How can you be so cruel?”

“It is quite simple, love. I am not being cruel, not right now anyway. I am being practical! There is no way those people will be able to sail with me, and I have to find a way to manage on my own.” Noticing her fury towards him, he added, “You are only jealous…”

“Jealous? Are you out of your mind? There is literally no one in this whole Realm who would be capable to decide to take a leap of faith and court you, Pirate.”

“I am not talking about that kind of jealousy – and by the way, you are wrong, I bet my dashing good looks are stronger than any curse. I’m talking about your jealousy of my freedom. I can go away and leave it all behind while you, Savior, have to figure this mess out. You will always have to figure messes out.”

She was so enraged that she could not even retort. 

After a time, Killian went on. “It doesn’t make you a bad person, you know. You wanting to be free of all this is only natural. The bad one around here is me, love. I’m the one leaving in a couple of weeks… You can admit that you are not always perfect without going all explosive with me. It is OK, you know, not being perfect.”

She was so mad that she stormed out of the room without dignify him with an answer. The problem was that he was right. This Pirate Killian could read her well too. She didn’t know if she was more upset with him or with herself.

It was ironic that, although she wasn’t affected by the curse, she was having such a hard time making choices herself. Each moment she had to decide if she should prioritize trying to break the curse or trying to make Killian fall in love with her again. She wasn’t accomplishing anything in none of the tasks. It was maddening.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------

 

The fact that she no longer trusted or admired her parents were putting her even more on the edge, she no longer had that childhood feeling of hope and security that emanated from her relationship with her parents that had accompanied her during her whole life.

Days after their fight she was again upset in his presence, only this time it wasn’t with him.

“I can’t believe my mother is trying to convince me again to work with her. How can I trust her, she is a villain!”

“The world is not as black and white as that, Princess. I don’t like royalty myself, but even I can see that she regrets what she did. Not all of us can be untouched symbols of virtue like yourself, Darling.”

“Of course you would understand her actions. You are no better than her.”

“For someone who wants me to fall in love with you, you throw a lot of insults my way, don’t you?” He said amusedly.

“And of course you would dismiss what I am saying with a joke. You don’t understand.” In that moment she missed her Killian so much, he would have understood her.

Killian’s face became open and pained at the same time, “I understand better than you think. My own father was a vile man who sold his own sons to servitude. He abandoned me and Liam, he made the wrong choice for the wrong reasons… Liam was the better man who I ever knew and he was by my side all the way, always making the right choices. I used to think that he was always going to be there for me, until the day of our first battle together… I never said that to anyone, but Liam… Liam died for his own fault.” 

She was almost hypnotized listening to him, he had such a serious and pained expression. It was almost hard to believe that this was the same overconfident pirate that never take anything seriously. At the same time, it made all the sense in the world that he was that pirate, it became obvious to her that his whole attitude was a mask. It became obvious why his mask was a necessity, it was self-preservation.

“The pirates that attacked our ship, all they wanted was the gold we had aboard. Liam could have let the pirates take the treasure.” He continued, “It was all they wanted and it wasn’t much. But he was so stubborn, he didn’t listen to me. He put his pride above his own life. He purposely risked his own life, he risked to leave me all alone in this world, all because of his pride.

“I was so angry! Liam had always been so dependable, I really believed that he would always be there for me, I trusted that with my whole soul… Suddenly I had no one. He did as my father, he has left me for the wrong reason.

“I swore that I would never forgive him for dying, for abandoning me. I used to get drunk and shout at him, curse him as if he could hear me. It was difficult, I almost lost myself. But, eventually, I came to realize that Liam was flawed, was as flawed as any human being. I came to realize that one bad decision couldn’t and shouldn’t taint my memories from my brother.

“Accepting that Liam wasn’t perfect and forgiving him for it made me able to forgive my own past. Made me able to cherish the happy moments we had together. Made me accept the parts of me that came from him. 

“forgiving him was essential for me to became my own person. I realize now that I shouldn’t idealize him, because that would make me live always in his shadow, and I shouldn’t negate all that he was, because I would be negating my own references, my own ideals.” After a pause he added, “I understand your feelings, love... I know I am a scoundrel, but at least think about what I said…”

He was so beautiful in that moment, with his soul bared for her. It was another kind of wonder seeing pirate Killian open up to her when this version of himself was so closed off. She was used to her Killian always being free with his emotions when it came to her. Seeing this Killian with his scars exposed was weirdly gratifying.

She was surprised to notice that she was calmer now, that what he had told her made sense in a way that soothed her.

“For a heartless Pirate, you are quite insightful.” She said.

“Maybe I have a heart…” He said, looking to the ground with a frown.

A sudden realization hit Emma, “Wait,” she said, “this is why you hate royals so much… You had to blame someone who wasn’t Liam for his death. Hating my parents made it easier to forgive him, didn’t it?”

Without removing his eyes from the ground, he retorts, “For someone so ‘innocent’, you are quite perceptive, aren’t you?”

“Maybe I’m not that ‘innocent’…”

 

\-------------------------------------

 

After the conversation about Liam’s death, Killian started to pull away from her. She didn’t know what to do. 

Only four days before his departure, Emma couldn’t find him anywhere. She was desperate, her time was running out. After hours looking for him, she thought that, maybe, he had decided to leave her earlier than they had agreed.

She was furious when she found him standing in the front of the Jolly Roger.

“What, are you leaving now? You gave me your word, Pirate!”

He gave her a salacious look, “Why? Would you miss me, Princess?”

The frustration was unbearable, with a dirty look she answered him, “the whole point of our deal is that I would miss you if you go, Killian.”

“Oh no, that is where you are wrong, love. The whole point of this nonsense is that you miss him. You miss that pounce of a Lieutenant that you think I am in some level. You would not miss me if I was gone.” His eyes were locked deeply in hers, there was something there, there was a deep sadness, a deeply charged look that she had once saw in the lieutenant’s face, but she couldn’t place when. “Anyway, this would never work. Even if you were capable to make me love you, you would never love me. This bloody ‘true love’s kiss’ you want so much would never work, because you would never love me.”

“Are you insane? I love you more than anything! How can you be so dense!”

“You love the lieutenant, not the pirate, love. You love someone that I am not! I am too damaged to be the perfect and pure companion you want me to be. I have a fire inside of me… I want to be out in the world and be my own self. I want to put my life in danger and feel the rush of it. I want to continue sailing without any port to call home, because every home I ever had was brutally taken from me and I want to honor my own history by cultivating my nomadic life. I am and always will be a pirate, love. You cannot love me because you are trying to make all that I am to vanish, Emma!”

It was the first time he has called her by her name since the lost of his love. It felt so different, it hadn’t the warmth of their history behind it, but it wasn’t indifferent as well. It was like it showed her another kind of connection between them, one that she couldn’t put her finger on yet. 

The fervor in his speech rendered her speechless. He was right, this version of him would have to disappear in order to her Killian come back. Why the thought of this pirate disappearing made her sad? Everything was so confusing. The only thing she could think to say was “Are you leaving then?”

The silence between them was heavy and lasted for what felt like an eternity. Finally, with a sigh, he spoke, “No… not now. I may be a pirate, but I have honor. I still believe in good form and we made a deal, Emma…” Then, cracking a smile and lightening the mood, he added, “We will have to be able to not kill each other for four more days, love. I am not going anywhere.”

Heat and confusion filled her because of the smirk he was sending her way. She had to admit, that was an expression that she would never found in Killian’s face. What surprised her was the realization that she would miss his smirks and bold behavior when she had her Killian back.

“Come on, Princess, the Royal family must be worried sick. The Princess alone in the docks with a big bad Pirate… It is a frightening thought indeed.” He said sarcastically and she could not hold her smile while she rolled her eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Thanks for reading my fic!  
> The work is already completed and I will update it every Monday.
> 
> I don’t have anyone reviewing this work, I’m sorry about any mistakes.


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